Many good cops also batterers

by Rob Carson & Lisa Kremer
The News Tribune
May 4th, 2003

Police officers hate to hear it & in the post-Sept. 11 world, it's not popular to say.

But the news of Tacoma Police Chief David Brame's marital disaster put a spotlight on one of the darkest corners of the law enforcement profession - cops who abuse their spouses.

Studies indicate that domestic abuse is far more common among police officers than in the general population. Their training makes them particularly well-equipped to abuse, sociologists say & their status in the community & the close-knit, almost tribal nature of their profession makes them frighteningly adept at getting away with it.

"Police officers are the most sophisticated, advantaged abusers we deal with," said Anne O'Dell, a former police officer & a nationally recognized expert on domestic violence.

"They have so many advantages, it's pathetic."

After the Brames' contentious divorce became public, a half - dozen women in the Tacoma area contacted The News Tribune, saying they'd had abusive relationships with law enforcement officers. 

The women asked not to be identified in print because they still fear their husbands. One said she lives in fear even though she & her husband have been separated for years.

"That could've been me," another victim said, referring to Crystal Brame. "That would've been me. If they hadn't arrested him, it would've been me."

All of the women interviewed said they wanted to share their stories because they were convinced other women need encouragement to leave abusive relationships & because they believe the system that cooperates to hide abuse by police must change to prevent more deaths.

"If saying something is going to help one person, I've got to do it," one woman said.

Domestic abuse by police is so rarely reported  & even more rarely prosecuted - that reliable statistics are impossible to come by. But a handful of experts cited by women's advocates indicate that spousal abuse is more common in law enforcement families than in the general population.

Two studies - one published in "Police Studies" in 1992 & another published in 1991 by the National Institute of Justice - have found that at least 40% of police officer families experience domestic violence.

As it turns out, many of the bizarre-sounding contradictions in David Brame's case - the allegations that he was the victim, the tough public stance he took on domestic violence issues, allegations of his unrelenting desire for control - were so typical they could've been taken straight out of a domestic violence handbook.

The women who talked about their abuse to The News Tribune said their experiences were uncannily similar to the ones Crystal Brame described to a psychologist in a report filed in her divorce case.

"Everything, down to the weighing, the going to the OB-GYN, the mileage," one woman said. "Your resources are completely controlled or completely removed. Life outside the home is discouraged. The blueprint that these guys follow is amazing."

Not all cops abusive

O'Dell, who retired as a career police officer w/the San Diego Police Department in 1995, now trains criminal justice professionals on domestic abuse issues, giving workshops w/titles like "Cops who Batter."

She hastens to say that by no means are all police officers abusive. "This isn't across the board," she said. "When people hear this, they always say, 'Oh no. What are you saying about cops?'"

But, generally speaking, O'Dell said, it's true that law enforcement officers tend to have a special problem with domestic violence. "They have enormous power, enormous discretion & they end up abusing it," she said.

Penny Harrington, also a former police officer, agrees that law enforcement agencies have unique problems w ith domestic violence. Harrington spent 23 years as a police officer in Portland, including 18 months as chief.

Later, she helped found the National Center for Women & Policing, a division of the Feminist Majority Foundation & she now works from her California office as an expert witness in employment discrimination cases.

"I do think policing draws certain types of people to it - some good, some not so good," Harrington said.

Some are drawn to the work because they believe the badge allows them to wield power, she said. "And that's what we're talking about in domestic violence - power & control."

The women who talked to The News Tribune added their personal testimony to that theory. Again & again, they described their relationships w/officers as if their husbands were teachers or parents, rather than partners.

"I'd get into trouble," they said, or "I'd be punished."

Their policemen husbands kept meticulous accounts of where they were at all times, the women said. Two women said their husbands tracked their mileage, just as Crystal Brame said her husband did.

One woman said her husband would call her workplace to find out if she was really there. Another said her husband thought a new blouse she'd been given was too low cut, so he ripped it off her.

One said her husband watched as she weighed herself every day, just as Crystal Brame said her husband had done. And, as Brame said of her husband, the woman said her police officer husband insisted on coming to her gynecological appointments.

Like Crystal Brame, some of the women said their husbands didn't allow them to have friends.

"I had one girlfriend & I was allowed to go to her house for an hour or two," one woman said. "I wasn't even allowed to open the front shades of my house."

"It's very isolating," another woman said. "Life outside the home is discouraged."

'Police make good batterers'

Victims' & women's advocates say the training police officers receive, beginning at police academies, can hone the skills of effective abuse.

"A lot about being a good cop leads right into being a really excellent batterer," O'Dell said.

"Cops are trained to do interrogations," she said. "We're taught always to dominate when threatened in the field. We're taught the art of manipulation, which is very handy for a batterer. And we're taught always to emerge the victor if we get into any kind of physical confrontation."

Officers are taught to intimidate by their voice & presence & to use their bodies as weapons, she said. They learn how to physically subdue people w/out leaving marks.

"I had a torn (tendon); I was strangled until I lost consciousness," one victim said. "They're all police academy maneuvers that they learn on the job & in a heartbeat they're used against you."

Women's advocates say abusive cops routinely use their handcuffs & nightsticks at home. Worst of all, O'Dell said, is the constant presence of guns.

"Weapons are around all the time," O'Dell said. "They put the gun in her ear, in her mouth or play Russian roulette. They say, trust me, no one will believe it wasn't an accident."

One alleged victim who came forward said her husband turned his gun on on her several times.

"I've had guns held to my head," she said. "I've had them held to my mouth, I've been backed into a wall w/a gun to my mouth."

During separations or divorce proceedings, officers' knowledge of surveillance techniques makes them intimidating stalkers, the women say.

One said that when she finally left her husband, "I got an unlisted phone number. He had that number within a day."

Society regards them highly

Society's high regard for police officers also figures into the equation, according to O'Dell. "We're made to feel we're special," she said. "What happens when a cop dies? There's 4 miles of cars. It's on TV."

"All of it feeds into the way batterers feel," O'Dell said. "They feel they're very special, that they're entitled to use whatever means to get what they want.

"It's narcissism also, that self-centered thing, the feeling that your whole world revolves around you. If you have those feelings in the first place, they're made bigger by the profession.

That works to an officer's advantage in the courtroom, victims say, where they know how to present themselves & their jobs give them instant credibility.

"For the spouse, that's imprinted on her psyche," O'Dell said. She believes it's impossible to get help, that no one will believe her."

To further destroy a victim's credibility, Harrington said, police officers methodically lay groundwork for a case that their wife has mental problems or is sexually promiscuous or that she has substance abuse problems.

The practice is common enough that O'Dell has a name for it that she uses in her workshops. She calls it the "Nuts, sluts, drunk or drug" tactic. 

"It's horrible, because they make you think that nobody's going to believe you," one woman who spoke to The News Tribune said, her voice shaking.

"(They) keep you in submission & all along they make it feel like it was your fault."

For a long time, Harrington said, police didn't consider domestic violence a serious crime - even though they hated answering the calls. Instead, she said, they turned a blind eye to what was considered a family problem.

"I think a lot of them still feel that way," she said.

Harrington said she's working with researchers at California Polytechnic State University who're trying to determine how many police agencies nationwide have policies in place on police officer domestic violence.

In some departments, Harrington said, "we're being met with laughs."

Can the cycle of domestic violence be broken?

Harrington believes it can, but only if it's interrupted early & the abuser is committed to changing.

Harrington ultimately believes that breaking the cycle is important to everyone in the community.

"Do you want someone who beats their wife responding to domestic violence in your community?" she asked.