• I can tell ________about the violence & request they call the police if they hear noises coming from my house.
  
  I can teach my children how to contact the police. I'll make sure they know our address & telephone number.
  

• I can teach my children how to go to a_______ (eg., neighbor, business, etc.) for help if it isn't possible to use the telephone.

• If I have a programmable phone, I can program emergency numbers & teach my children how to use the auto dial.

I can use my judgment

• When I expect my partner & I are going to argue, I'll try to move to a space that's lowest risk, such as _____. (Try to avoid arguments in the bathroom, garage, kitchen, near weapons or in rooms without an outside exit.)
  
• I can also teach some of these strategies to some/all of my children, as appropriate.

I can leave

• If I decide to leave, I will _______. (Practice how to get out safely. What doors, windows, elevators, stairwells or fire escapes would you use?)
  
• I can keep my purse & car keys ready & put them ________to leave quickly.
  
• I'll leave money & an extra set of keys w/_______ so I can leave quickly.
  

• I'll keep copies of important documents or keys at _____.

• If I have to leave my home, I'll go to ________. If I can't go to the above location, I can go to_____________.
  
• The domestic violence hotline number is ______. I can call it if I need shelter or information.
  

• If it's not safe to talk openly, I'll use______ as the code word / signal to my children that we are going to go, or to my family or friends that we are coming.

• I'll use______ as my code word w/my children or my friends so they'll call for help.

Planning to Leave

• I'll call a domestic violence program & get help making my plans. The hotline number for the nearest program is ____________.
  
• I'll leave money & an extra set of keys w/______ so that I can leave quickly.
  
• I'll keep copies of important documents or keys at ___________.
  
• I can leave extra clothes w/ ___________________.
  
• I'll keep important numbers & change for phone calls w/ me at all times. Since my partner can learn who I've been talking to by looking at phone bills, I can see if friends will let me use their phones &/or their phone credit cards.
  
• I can leave my pets w/____________.

• I'll check w/ __________&________ to see who would be able to let me stay w/them or lend me some money.
  
• I can increase my independence by opening a bank account & getting credit cards in my own name; taking classes or getting job skills; getting copies of all the important papers & documents I might need & keeping them with _______.
  
• Other things I can do to increase my independence include: ___________________.
  
• I can rehearse my escape plan & if appropriate, practice it with my children.

After I Leave

• I can change the locks on my doors & windows.
  
• I can replace wooden doors w/steel / metal doors.
  
• I can install security systems including additional locks, window bars, poles to wedge against doors, an electronic system, etc.

• I can purchase rope ladders to be used for escape from second floor windows.
  
• I can install smoke detectors & put fire extinguishers on each floor in my home.
  
• I'll teach my children how to use the phone to make a collect call to me if they are concerned about their safety.
  
• I can tell people who take care of my children, including their school, which people have permission to pick them up & make sure they know how to recognize those people.
  
• I'll give the people who take care of my children, including their school, copies of custody & protective orders & emergency numbers.

• I can inform my boss, the security supervisor &/or Employee Assistance Program about my situation. My workplace EAP number is ____________.
  
• My workplace security office number is_________.

• I can ask __________to screen my calls at work.
  
• When leaving work, I can _________________.
  
• When traveling to & from work, I can vary my route. If there's trouble, I can _____________________.
  
• I can change my patterns — avoid stores, banks, doctor’s appointments, laundromats &____________, places where my partner might find me.
  
• I can tell________ & ________ that I am no longer w/my partner & ask them to call the police if they believe my children or I are in danger.

• I'll keep my order of protection _________. (Always keep it on or near your person.)
  
• I'll give copies of my order of protection to police departments in the community in which I live & those where I visit friends & family.
  
• I'll give copies to my employer, my religious advisor, my closest friend, my children's school, day care center &________.
  
• If my partner destroys my order of protection or if I lose it, I can get another copy from the court that issued it.
  
• If my partner violates the order of protection, I can call the police & report a violation, contact my attorney, call my advocate &/or advise the court of the violation.
  
• I can call a domestic violence program if I have questions about how to enforce a court order or if I have problems getting it enforced.

• Identification for myself
  
• Children’s birth certificates
  
• My birth certificate
  
• Social Security cards
  
• School/vaccination records
  
• Money, checkbook, bank books, ATM cards, tax returns
  
• Credit cards
  
• Medication
  
• Keys - house, car, office
  
• Driver’s license/car registration
  
• Insurance papers
  
• Public Assistance ID/Medicaid Cards
  
• Passports, green cards, work permits
  
• Divorce or separation papers
  
• Lease, rental agreement or house deed
  
• Car/mortgage payment book
  
• Children’s toys, security blankets, stuffed animals
  
• Sentimental items, photos
  
• My Personalized Safety Plan

My Emotional Health

• If I'm feeling down, lonely or confused, I can call _______or the domestic violence hotline ______.
  
• I can take care of my physical health needs by getting a checkup w/my doctor, gynecologist & dentist. If I don't have a doctor, I will call the local clinic or________ to get one.
  
• If I have concerns about my children's health & well-being, I can call __________.

• If I have left my partner & am considering returning, I'll call ______ or spend time w/______ before I make a decision.
  
• I'll remind myself daily of my best qualities. They are: ________________________________.
  
• I can attend support groups, workshops, or classes at the local domestic violence program or __________in order to build a support system, learn skills or get information.
  
• I will look at how & when I drink alcohol or use other drugs.
  
• If I need help around my drinking or drug use, I can call ______.

• I can read one or more of the books listed in this guide's bibliography that were written for battered women.
  
• Other things I can do to feel stronger are: __________.

Getting help from an advocate
The following sections of this guide provide basic information about what the police and the courts in New York State can do for you. But exactly how the system works varies from one community to another, and there is no other case just like yours. For these reasons, if you are thinking about or are already using the police or the courts, it's a good idea to contact your local domestic violence program and talk to an advocate.

Among other things, a domestic violence advocate can tell you how things work in your community, help you weigh the pros and cons of using the system, and "walk you through" the entire process of making a police report, obtaining an order of protection, filing a violation, or petitioning for custody.

If you call the police
If you call the police, they must come to investigate. For the police to make a decision to arrest, they need to find probable cause that a crime was committed. This means they must have enough evidence to believe that your partner committed a crime by harming or threatening you. Among other things, evidence includes:

• 911 or emergency calls to police;

• visible harm or injury to you or your children (for example, cuts, bruises, swelling, or torn clothes);

• damage to personal property such as furniture, walls, windows, car, or signs of a break-in;

• messages (either on your answering machine or written) threatening you or apologizing for having hurt or scared you;

• statements from you, your neighbors, children, family members, or anyone else who saw or heard what happened.

• Felonies - If the police find that your partner committed a felony against you or another family member, they must make an arrest. Felonies are the most serious of crimes.

An example of a felony is Assault in the Second Degree, which is an assault that results in serious physical injury like a broken bone, or an injury from a weapon causing "substantial pain" that lasts over a period of time.

• Misdemeanors - If the police find that a family offense misdemeanor has been committed against you or another family member, New York State law requires arrest unless you ask the police not to arrest. But even if you ask the police not to arrest, many police departments will still make the arrest if they have evidence of a crime.

Examples of misdemeanors are Assault in the Third Degree, which requires a physical injury (usually more than a bruise) and "substantial pain," and stalking in the Third or Fourth Degrees, which is where your partner repeatedly acts in ways that scare you such as following you, making unwanted phone calls, or sending letters.

• Violations - If the police witness a violation (sometimes called a petty offense) being committed, they have the authority to make an arrest, although they are not required to. If the police do not witness the violation or do not choose to arrest, you can make a civilian arrest. This doesn't mean that you must physically make the arrest, but just that you must sign a complaint against your partner. The police may either help you with this and take your partner to the police station, or give you information on how to get the court to take some action.

  If your partner has harassed or threatened you more than once, or if you are afraid of future harm, tell the police. It may give them the evidence they need to charge your partner with a misdemeanor and to arrest him without you having to sign a complaint.

An example of a violation is Harassment in the Second Degree which is when your partner verbally threatens you with harm, slaps or pushes you, but doesn't cause a physical injury.

What else can the police do for me?
Even if the police do not arrest your partner, they can:

• help you and your children get medical care and/or get to a safe place;
• take a statement from you to document the incident, which can be useful if you decide to call the police again or decide to go to court; and
• take photographs of your injuries or any damaged property.

• a Victim Rights Notice which explains your legal rights and includes information on local domestic violence services;
• their names and badge numbers so that you can contact them again if you have questions or need to add information to the police report; and
• if they are not making an arrest, a written explanation of their reasons.