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Did you know?
- 1 in 4 women experience domestic violence during her lifetime.
- In 2001, 20% of violent crime against women was intimate partner violence,
compared to 3% violent crime against men.
- In 2001, there were 691,670 nonfatal incidents
of violence committed by the current or former spouses, boyfriends or girlfriends of the victims.
from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
What is Battering?
Battering
is a pattern of behavior used to establish power & control over another person w/whom an intimate relationship is or has been shared thru fear & intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence.
Battering
happens when one person believes that they're entitled to control another.
Intimate partner violence in intrinsically connected to the societal oppression of women, children, people of color, people with disabilities, people who are lesbian,
gay, bisexual & trans, elders, Jewish people & other marginalized groups.
While oppression
functions in similar ways regardless of which group is targeted, different target groups have unique experiences of oppression
stemming from their specific historic, cultural & social experiences & realities. The work to end domestic violence must necessarily include the fight against all oppressions.
Domestic
violence may include not only the intimate partner relationships of spousal, live-in partners & dating relationships, also familial, elder & child abuse may be present in a violent home.
Abuse
generally falls into one or more of the following categories:
generally escalates over a period of time.
Victims of abuse may experience:
- The average yearly loss to female victims of intimate violence
in medical expenses is $61,000,000; when broken or stolen property and lost pay is added to the figure it increases to $150,000,000
(Greenfield et al, 1998); when indirect costs are included, such as pain and suffering and loss of quality of life, another
$65,000,000 annually would need to added (Miller, et al, 1996).
- Nearly 1 in 4 American women between the ages of 18 and 65
has experienced domestic violence (Body Shop, 1998).
- In 1996, there were nearly 840,000 female victims and approximately
150,000 male victims of intimate violence (Greenfield, et al, 1998).
- In 48% of all violent victimizations during 1996, the victim
knew the offender (Ringel, 1997)
 
Overview
Domestic violence
has been present since the early days of recorded history & was even sanctioned in English common
law as late as the early 20th century.
The women's movement in the 1970s, which brought to light the social plight of women & advocated for women's
rights, fostered a growing concern over the treatment of women in the home.
In
response to this increase in public consciousness, shelters & resources were established to provide assistance
to victims of domestic violence. The first shelter for battered women was established in 1974.
Since
then, hundreds of shelters & domestic violence programs throughout the US provide emotional, financial, vocational
& sometimes legal assistance & support to domestic violence survivors & their children.
Domestic violence affects
not only those abused, but witnesses, family members, co-workers, friends & the community at large. Children who witness
domestic violence are victims themselves & growing up amidst violence predisposes them to a multitude of social &
physical problems.
Constant exposure to violence
in the home & abusive role models teaches these children that violence is a normal way of life & places them at risk
of becoming society's next generation of victims & abusers.
Dynamics of Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is about power and control. The abuser wants to dominate the victim/survivor and wants all the power in the relationship-and uses violence in order to establish and maintain authority and power. Perpetrators of domestic violence are usually not sick or deranged, but have learned abusive, manipulative techniques and behaviors that allow them to dominate and control others and obtain the responses they desire.
An abuser will often restrict a victim's outlets, forbidding the victim to maintain outside employment, friends, and family
ties. This has an isolating effect, leaving victims with no support system, and creating dependency. Abusers also limit a
survivor's options by not allowing access to checking accounts, credit cards or other sources of money or financial independence.
Perpetrators of domestic violence
may constantly criticize, belittle and humiliate their partners. Causing the victim to feel worthless, ugly, stupid and crazy
does not allow for a survivor's healthy self-perception. Low self-esteem may contribute to victims feeling they deserve the
abuse, affecting their ability to see themselves as worthy of better treatment.
Reactions of Domestic Violence
Victims
Domestic violence
victims are often exposed repeatedly to threats, violence, intimidation, and physical, emotional
and psychological abuse. Constant, repeated exposure to violence has a profound effect on a victim's daily activities and
functioning, thinking, interpersonal relationships, and sense of self.
Some
victims, because of the chronic nature of the violence, may develop Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, a mental health
disorder characterized by flashbacks, significant anxiety, depression and fatigue.
Other reactions a domestic violence
survivor may experience include:
- Fear;
- Nightmares and sleep disturbances;
- Anxiety;
- Anger;
- Difficulty concentrating;
- Depression;
- Low self-esteem;
- Shame & embarrassment;
- Chronic physical complaints;
- Substance abuse;
- Social withdrawal;
- Feelings of helplessness & hopelessness;
- Self-blame;
- Numbness; and
- Hypervigilance (inability to relax, jumpiness)
Domestic violence
victims will often blame their own behavior, rather than the violent actions of the abuser. Victims may try continually
to alter their behavior and circumstances in order to please the abuser-believing that if they follow certain rules and make
sure the abuser is happy-they will not be hurt. However, violence perpetrated by abusers is often self-driven and depends
little on victims' actions or words.
Domestic violence
victims may minimize the seriousness of incidents in order to cope, and not seek medical attention or assistance when
needed. Victims, because they fear the perpetrator and may be ashamed of their situation, may be reluctant to disclose the
abuse to family, friends, work, the authorities, or victim assistance professionals. As a consequence, they may suffer in
silence and isolation.
Who is battered?
In all cultures, batterers
are most commonly male. Rural & urban women of all religious, ethnic, socio-economic & educational backgrounds &
of varying ages, physical abilities & lifestyles can be affected by domestic violence.
There isn't a typical woman who will be battered - the risk factor is being born female.
Heterosexual males may
also be victims of domestic violence as perpetrated by their female partners. They experience
the same dynamics of interpersonal violence as female victims including experiences of disbelief, ridicule & shame that only enhance their silence. However, there are specific cultural groups whose peculiar vulnerabilities may put the members of that population at risk of experiencing violence in their relationships.
Battered immigrant &
refugee women in the US have further complications by issues of gender, race socioeconomic status, immigration status &
language in addition to those complications of intimate partner violence. A battered woman who isn't a legal resident or whose immigrant status depends on her partner is isolated by cultural dynamics that may prevent her from leaving her husband, seeking support from local agencies that may not understand her culture or requesting assistance from an unfamiliar American legal system.
Some obstacles may include
a distrustful attitude toward the legal system, language & cultural barriers (that may at the least be unknown & at the worst
hostile) & fear of deportation.
Children witnessing
domestic violence & living in an environment where violence occurs may experience some
of the same trauma as abused children. Not all children are affected by domestic violence in the same way.
Children may become:
Children often feel
caught in the middle between their parents & find it difficult to talk to either of them. Adolescents may act out or exhibit
risk-taking behaviors such as drug & alcohol use, running away, sexual promiscuity & criminal behavior.
Young men may try to
protect their mothers, or they may become abusive to their mothers themselves. Children may injured if they try to intervene in the violence in their homes.
Individuals w/physical,
psychiatric & cognitive disabilities may not only experience sexual & domestic violence
at a higher rate from intimate partners or spouses than the mainstream population, but, unlike the mainstream population, they may also experience mistreatment,
abuse, neglect & exploitation from their caretakers, including personal assistants, paid staff, family members & parents.
Examples can be the
denial of:
- medications & personal care
- the use of psychotropic medication as a restraint
- daily & intimate care mistreatment
- neglect
- inaccessible organizations & facilities
- unavailable or disabling assistive technology devices
essential for communication & movement
- improper use of restraints
- the denial of life-sustaining medical treatment & therapies
Yet, this population
gets little attention from the community, the media or policy makers allowing the abuse to continue w/out restraint in isolation & apathy.
Older battered women
are a nearly invisible, yet tragically sizable population & uniquely vulnerable to domestic violence. Older women are more likely to be bound by traditional & cultural
ideology that prevents them from leaving an abusive spouse or from seeing themselves as a victim.
Older women are very
often financially dependent on their abusive spouse & don't have access to the financial resources they need to leave an abusive relationship. Many older women find themselves isolated from their family, friends & community, due to their spouses' neglect & abuse.
This is especially true
because older women suffer greater rates of chronic illness, which makes them dependent upon their spouses or caregivers & thus, reluctant or unable to report abuse.
Rural battered women
face lack of resources, isolation, small town politics, few if any support agencies & poor or little transportation & communication systems in addition to the other complications of intimate partner violence that's intensified by the rural lifestyle. Sexist, racist, misogynist, anti-semitic & homophobic language
& actions are often more acceptable in rural communities & attitudes seem slower to change.
The patriarchal "good
old boys" network, fundamentalist religious teachings, deep-rooted cultural traditions & commonly accepted sexual stereotyping can form a chorus of accusations that the battered rural woman is unfaithful in her role as a woman,
wife & mother. The act of leaving the homeplace, land & animals that could depend on her may be emotionally wrenching
leaving the battered rural woman surrounded by walls of guilt & self-abasement.
Same sex battering is one person's use of physical, sexual or emotional violence or the threat of violence or the fear of outing to gain & maintain control over another & sweeps the entire population regardless of culture, race, occupation, income level & degree of physical
or cognitive ability.
Although battering is
occasionally an isolated act, once it begins, it often continues & escalates in frequency & severity. In addition, the fear of homophobic & hostile law enforcement, judiciary, court personnel, medical & social service providers & domestic
violence programs may keep lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender & Intersex victims of same sex violence from leaving
their abusive relationship & seeking help.
Teen dating violence
may be one of the major sources of violence in teen life. Even in the best of circumstances, the passage from childhood to
adulthood is often one of awkwardness & unease. When that passage is marked w/danger & violence that explodes in relationships, then the journey into adulthood
becomes even more overwhelmingly complex.
Given that social, cultural,
religious & family messages about intimacy & relationships between teens can be confusing, misleading, nonexistent or even unhealthy, many teens find themselves unsure of what to expect & how to behave in dating or intimate relationships.
Fear, misconceptions, lack of services, low self-esteem, control by the abuser, peer pressure & concern about family response all combine to keep battered teens trapped in silence & secrecy.
Domestic violence is a
serious crime which often results in serious injury & even death.
In the US, battering is the
major cause of injury to women aged 14-45, causing more injuries than auto accidents, muggings & rapes combined (1). 1/5 of reported domestic violence assaults involved the use of a weapon.
1/2 of reported domestic violence assaults result in serious bodily injury (2).
In addition, almost 25% of
pregnant women seeking prenatal care have been battered during pregnancy (3). Women are significantly
more likely than men to be killed by an intimate partner.
Of all female victims of homicide
in the US, 30% are killed by husbands or boyfriends, a total of almost 1,400 women each year (4). In contrast,
4% of men are killed by intimates (5).
Every woman is at risk
for becoming a victim of domestic violence (6).
Domestic violence happens regardless of socio-economic status, race, ethnicity, age, education,
employment status, physical ableness, marital status, or childhood history.
Batterers use emotional,
psychological, economic & physical abuse as a way of controlling their intimate partners. Abuse isn't casued by stress, anger or alcohol / other drug involvement.
Many people find it difficult to understand why men batter. So, when batterers say that they "lost their temper," "had a bad day at work," or were "drunk & out of
control," these explanations are often accepted by others.
But battering
has much more to do with a man's attitudes & beliefs about how men & women should relate in intimate relationships than it has to do w/the common excuses given by batterers. In general, batterers believe that they have a right to enforce their will on their female partners.
It's this belief, coupled w/society's tolerance of domestic violence, that is at the root of domestic violence.
The majority of men who
batter their female partners are also abusive to their children (7).
Between 50-70% of men who abuse their female partners also physically abuse their children. The abuse of children is generally less severe than the abuse of the female partner, but as the violence against the partner gets worse, the child abuse also gets worse. There's also a high correlation between men who abuse their female partners & those who sexually abuse female children.
Children from families
in which there is adult domestic violence often suffer negative consequences, even if they aren't
the direct targets of abuse (8).
Children who witness their mothers
being abused by their fathers often exhibit health problems, sleeping difficulties, anxiety, acting out behavior & feelings of guilt, fear & powerlessness. They're at high risk for alcohol & drug use, teen pregnancy, homelessness & suicide.
Research suggests
that there's an increased risk for boys who grow up in homes in which there's domestic violence
to perpetrate domestic violence in their adult intimate relationships. Despite popular belief, girls who grow up in these families aren't at increased risk for being victimized as adults because of their childhood history.
What is domestic violence?
Recognizing what behaviors are part of domestic violence isn't always easy, even for victims
themselves. This is, in part, because domestic violence is much more than physical abuse.
In fact, many battered women
who are controlled by their partners & who live in danger & fear have never been physically assaulted.
Understanding what domestic violence is means being aware of the many different things abusers do to control their partners. The following checklist of behaviors may help you decide if you or someone you know is being abused.
Does your partner. . .
Use emotional & psychological
control?
- call you names, yell, put you down, make racial or homophobic
slurs, or constantly criticize or undermine you & your abilities as a wife, partner, or mother?
- behave in an overprotective way or become
extremely jealous?
- make it difficult for you to see family or friends, or “badmouth”
your family & friends?
- prevent you from going where you want to, when you want to
& w/whomever you want to?
- humiliate or embarrass you in front of other people?
Use economic control?
- deny you access to family assets like bank
accounts, credit cards, or car?
- control all the finances, force you to account for what you spend, or take your money?
- prevent you from getting or keeping a job
or from going to school?
- limit your access to health, prescription and/or dental insurance?
Make threats?
- threatens to report you to the authorities (the police, courts, or child protective services) for
something you didn't do?
- threaten to harm or kidnap the children?
- make you afraid by using looks, actions or gestures?
- display weapons as a way of making you afraid or directly threaten you w/weapons?
- use anger or "loss of temper" as a threat to get you to do what he wants?
- threaten to expose your sexual orientation to friends, family, or employer, if you're gay or lesbian?
- threaten to report you to INS or immigration?
Commit acts of physical violence?
- carry out threats to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends, or himself?
- destroy personal property or throw things around?
- grab, push, hit, punch, slap, kick, choke, or bite you?
- force you to have sex when you don't want to or to engage in
sexual acts that you don't want to do?
- prevent you from taking medications or getting medical care?
- deny you access to food, fluids or sleep?
These are some of
the most common tactics used by abusers to control their partners, but certainly not the only ones. If your partner does things that restrict your personal freedom or that make you afraid, you may be a victim of domestic violence.
You're not alone. Millions of women are abused by their partners every year. The good news is that more resources are available now than ever before to help
women & their children be safe.
You have a right to be safe.
No one has the right to abuse you.
Older women & domestic violence
Domestic violence happens
in many older women's lives. Older women can suffer physical, sexual, emotional, and financial abuse at the hands of spouses,
partners, their family, and caregivers.
Some women have been with
the same abusive partner for 30, 40 or 50 years. The abuse may have started while they were dating, first married, living
together, or during pregnancy.
Some women may have never
lived on their own away from husbands/partners or family of origin. They may know no other life. They may have struggled often
with the decision of whether to leave or they may have tried to leave. Others are starting new relationships following a death
or divorce. They may have been independent, employed, owned a home. Some have been in relationships with non-violent partners
for many years, with abuse starting in later life.
Adult children may also abuse
older women. Most often the adult child is emotionally and/or financially dependent on the victim. Women abused by their adult
children often feel guilty and do not want to report the abuse. They may worry about what will happen to the child if they
stop having contact.
Additional barriers for
older women
There are many reasons older women find it difficult or impossible to leave the abuser.
- May not identify themselves
as abused
Images perpetuated by TV and movies of battered
women as younger women with children may leave society and older women with the impression that domestic violence doesn't
occur in mid or later life.
- Fear the consequences
of intervention
They may be afraid of appearing in court, leaving their homes, or being placed in nursing homes.
Some women fear having their decision-making rights taken from them by service providers.
- Life stresses
Changes such as death of family or friends, birth of grandchild, retirement, and moving may all play a part in some women's
decision to stay.
- Fear of financial insecurity
Some older abused women have no formal education or economic resources. Many with health problems fear losing insurance
if they are on their abusers' policies and have uninsurable pre-existing conditions.
- Family members &
adult children
Siblings or parents may have tried to keep the couple together or begged her to leave many times
before. She may have family responsibilities such as caretaking for elderly parents, siblings or dependent children that influence
her decisions. Some adult children will be supportive of their mothers and help them in any way they can.
Others create
barriers by encouraging women to stay, believing that if she leaves the children may need to take responsibility for their
abusive father. Some side with the batterers, believing their mothers' role is to keep the family together.
Battered lesbians or gay men
Battering happens to women and men in same sex relationships
as well. Women battered by female partners or men battered by male partners may face additional barriers in seeking help.
Obtaining a protective order or calling the police may mean "coming out" each time help is sought. Police, court personnel
and others from whom a battered lesbian or gay man may seek help may not have had specific training in same sex domestic violence.
If you are in a lesbian or gay relationship and your partner
has utilized emotional, sexual, economic abuse, or physical violence to control you, you are being battered.
Your partner may try to blame you or cite reasons other than
her/his own behavior for the battering. In addition to using any or all of the tactics heterosexual male abusers use, some
tactics lesbian or gay abusers use may include:
- threats to inform your family, work associates, or government
agencies of your sexual preference or orientation;
- making you feel bad about your sexual history;
- writing threatening notes or letters that might expose your
sexual orientation; or
- "outing" you to your children.
A domestic violence advocate can tell you about support groups and
other services in your community for battered lesbians or gay men.
Why do battered women feel trapped?
Simply, because they often are trapped. That doesn't
necessarily mean that there's no way out. But there are many good reasons why it may be difficult to be safe or to end a relationship
with a violent partner. The choices women confront are not risk-free.
Risks of Seeking Help or Deciding to Leave
Physical violence &
psychological harm
- Risk that the threats and violence will get worse, resulting
in harm to victim, children, friends, or family
- Risk that batterer will follow through on suicide threats and
harm himself
- Risk of continued harassment, stalking, and verbal and emotional
attacks, especially if batterer has ongoing contact (such as during court-ordered visitation)
- Risk of serious physical harm and/or death
Children
- Risk to children of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse; possibility
of increased risks to children if batterer has unsupervised or inappropriately supervised visitation
- Risk of losing children by parental kidnapping or as the result
of a legal custody decision
- Risk of negative impact on children as a result of "breaking
up the family"
Financial
- Risk of reduced standard of living - possible loss of home,
possessions, neighborhood
- Risk of losing income or job - possible loss of partner's income,
may have to quit a job to relocate or to fulfill the responsibilities of single parenthood, may be prevented from working
because of threats and harassment
Relationship
- Risk of losing partner, losing the relationship
- Risk of losing help with children, transportation, household
- For elderly women or women with disabilities, risk of losing
caretaker
Responses from friends,
family members, and helping professionals
- Risk of not being believed or taken seriously, being blamed,
being pressured to do something she’s not ready or able to do
- Risk of being judged as a bad wife, partner or mother
- Risk of being pressured to maintain the relationship based
on religious and/or cultural beliefs or because the children “need a father”
- Risk that actions of “helpers” may increase danger
Under the best of circumstances,
it is difficult to end a relationship with an intimate partner. Love, family, shared memories, and a sense of commitment are
bonds that are hard to break. Cultural or religious beliefs may become impossible barriers to ending a marriage. Immigration
status may be another obstacle. Battered women face the additional risks of physical, emotional and psychological harm. In
addition, many battered women want the violence and abuse to stop, but they don't want the relationship to end. Many women
feel responsible for the abuse.
Seeking help, getting an order
of protection, or deciding to leave only makes sense to a woman when, on balance, it reduces the overall risks to her and
her children.
There are risks attached to
every decision a battered woman
makes.
- - -
Safety planning is the process of evaluating
the risks and benefits of different options
and identifying
ways to reduce the risks.
Why Victims May Stay
Very few individuals would become involved in a relationship
they knew to be violent. Domestic violence has subtle origins. What starts out as love, courtship and concern, may turn into
domination, forced adherence to rigid sex roles and obsessive jealousy. Victims are not masochists. They do not enjoy being
hurt, abused, battered and controlled. Victims may stay with someone who is abusing them for various reasons which include:
- Fear of the abuser;
- Love;
- Threats to harm the victim, loved ones or pets;
- Threats of suicide;
- Believing the abuser will take their children;
- Religious reasons;
- Believing the abuser will change;
- Self-blame;
- Limited financial options;
- Believing that violence is normal;
- Believing in the sanctity of marriage and the family;
- Limited housing options;
- Blaming the abuse on alcohol, financial pressures, or other
outside factors;
- Low self-esteem;
- Fear of the unknown, of change;
- Isolation;
- Embarrassment and shame;
- Believing no one can help;
- Cultural beliefs;
- Denial; and
- Pressure from friends and family to stay.
Safety planning & risk assessment
Use what you already know
If
you are a battered woman, you probably know more about safety planning and risk assessment than you might even realize. Being
in a relationship with an abusive partner—and surviving—requires considerable skill and resourcefulness. Any time
you do or say something as a way to protect yourself and/or your children, you are assessing risk and enacting a safety plan.
You do it all the time. It’s just not always a conscious process.
Think it through
It can be a really
helpful safety strategy to evaluate risks and make safety plans in a more intentional way. Whether you are currently with
your partner or have ended the relationship, and whether or not you choose to use the available service system or to involve
the police, there are certain things that are helpful to consider in planning for your future safety.
Safety planning
for every situation
Safety plans can be made for a variety of different situations — for dealing with an emergency,
such as when you are threatened with a physical assault or an assault has occurred; for continuing to live with or to date
a partner who has been abusive; or for protecting yourself after you have ended a relationship with an abusive partner.
If
you are planning to leave your partner or have already left, be aware that batterers often are more violent during times
of separation, increasing your risk for harm, including serious and life-threatening injury. Making a separation safety
plan can help reduce the risks to you and your children.
Identify your options
The value of any safety
plan depends on identifying options that make sense to you and that you can use. This guide will provide information on the
help available from local domestic violence programs,the police and the courts. But equally important is the help and information you may get
from other places, including your own family and social supports. You may find people you can trust in all or some of the
following places:
- Employee Assistance Program, supervisor, union, co-worker
- Counselor, social worker, therapist
- Doctor, dentist, nurse
- Friends, family, neighbors
- Religious congregation member, minister, rabbi, priest
- Women’s centers, displaced homemaker or senior centers
- Teachers, school counselors, PTA
- Department of Social Services caseworker
Evaluate your options
Only you can judge whom
it's safe to tell about your situation and whom to ask for help. Sometimes people who don't have good information about domestic
violence respond to battered women in ways that aren't helpful, even when they mean well. On the other hand, you may feel
more comfortable asking for help from someone you know. It's your call. The important thing is for you to identify all the
possible people who might be willing and able to help you. Make a list with their phone numbers and attach it to your safety
plan for easy reference.
Plan Ahead
You don’t need to wait for an emergency to ask for help. In fact,
it's a good idea to talk to people who can help before there's a crisis and find out what they're willing and able to do for
you. That way, you'll know in advance if you have a place to stay, where to go for financial assistance, or a safe person
who can keep copies of important papers for you.
It can sometimes be hard to ask for help, but you do not deserve to
be abused. There is help available. You may need help, and most people really do want to help. The more specific you can be
with them about what you need, the more likely it is that you'll get the help you're looking for.
Safety in the Workplace
Did you know. . .?
- 74% of working battered women are harassed by their abusive
partners on the job; and of them, each year:
- 54% miss at least 18 days of work;
- 56% are late for work on at least 60 days;
- 28% leave early on at least 60 days; and
- 20% lose their jobs altogether.
Battered women consistently identify the
lack of financial resources as a primary obstacle to separating from their abusive partners. For working women, battering
can further weaken their financial security by compromising their ability to perform and keep their jobs.
Suggestions
for workplace personnel
In addition to the guidelines for helpers on the previous pages, there is specific assistance
that supervisors, human resources administrators, employee assistance professionals, and security staff can provide that can
better protect battered women in the workplace.
Supervisors/Managers
- Be alert to the possible indicators of domestic violence as
identified on the previous pages.
- Consult with your EAP staff and/or Human Resources Administrator
to discuss your concerns and to determine a safe and supportive way to approach the employee.
- Maintain the employee’s confidentiality at all times.
- Actively assist the employee in ensuring that Orders of Protection
are honored by all relevant workplace personnel.
- Make sure that security staff have the information they need
to best protect the employee at the work site (copies of court orders, photograph of the abuser, etc.).
- If possible, arrange flexible work hours so that the employee
can handle legal matters, court appearances, child care, etc.
- When necessary, and if possible, transfer employee to another
work location.
Human Resources Administrator
- Be a resource to both the employee and the supervisor.
- With the employee’s knowledge and consent, contact the
EAP Professional to explore options.
- Assist the employee, with the help of the EAP Professional,
in developing a safety plan.
- Work with the supervisor on pay and absence arrangements.
- Handle communications with the employee during any necessary
absences.
Employee Assistance Program Professional
- Be a resource to the employee, supervisor and the Human Resource
Administrator.
- Be available, even during an employee’s absence, to provide
information and to make appropriate referrals.
- Assist the employee, with the help of the Human Resources Administrator,
in developing a safety plan.
- With the written consent of the employee, act as a liaison
with outside agencies providing services to the employee.
Elements of a workplace safety plan
- Is the travel route between the employee’s home and work
safe? Is the employee’s parking arrangement safe? Are current child care arrangements safe?
- Do security staff and, if necessary, co-workers
have the information they need to help protect the employee, such as a photograph of the abuser? How else can security assist
the employee?
- If the employee is temporarily residing in a shelter or some
other confidential location, do designated workplace personnel have emergency contact information?
- Is the employee’s work schedule flexible enough for her
to manage court appearances, legal matters, and child care without having to take a cut in pay or unpaid leave?
Criminal Justice
Incidence
In 1999, the New York State
Division of Criminal Justice Services received 55,558 police reports of family offenses
involving adult intimate partners. An adult female was identified as the victim in 84% of
these reported family offenses. NYS Division of Criminal Justice Services, 1999 Crime & Justice Annual Report.
Of all adult domestic violence cases
reported to the National Crime Victimization Survey, in 1998, approximately 85% were victimizations
of women by their current or former partners. Compared to males, females experienced 5 times as
many incidents of violence by an intimate.
Women were the victims in
about 876,340 of the violent crimes committed by an intimate, compared to approximately
157,330 incidents committed against men. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Intimate Partner
Violence, May 2000, NCJ 178247.
52% of all violent crimes
committed by a relative involve spouses and ex-spouses. One in four spousal attacks involve persons who are divorced. Bureau
of Justice Statistics, Criminal Victimization in the United States, 1995, May 2000, NCJ 171129.
In 1995, almost one in five
reported violent crimes where the victim knew the offender involved the use of a weapon. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Criminal
Victimization in the United States, 1995.
Homicide
Of 57 domestic homicides occurring
in NYS between 1990 and 1997, 75% of the victims had ended the relationship or stated an intention to end it at the time of
their death. NYS Commission on Domestic Violence Fatalities, Report to the Governor, (Albany, NY: 1997), 8.
According to the FBI's Supplementary
Homicide Reports 1976-1999, 59% of the murder victims known to have been killed by an intimate in 1999 were shot to
death. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Homicide Trends in the United States, Intimate Homicide, 2001.
According to the FBI's Supplementary
Homicide Reports 1976-1999, 30% of women murdered in the United States in 1999 were murdered by a husband, former husband
or boyfriend. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Homicide Trends in the United States, Intimate Homicide, 2001.
In 1996, nearly
75% of those murdered by an intimate partner in the US were women. Greenfield, L.A., and others, Violence by Intimates: Analysis
of data on crimes by current or former spouses, boyfriends, and girlfriends. US Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs,
Bureau of Justice Statistics, 1998. NCJ-167237.
Between 1993 and 1999, an
intimate was responsible for 32% of homicides of women age 20-24 and almost 40% of homicides of women age 35-49. Rennison,
C.M., PhD., Intimate Partner Violence and Age of Victim, 1993-99, 2001, NCJ-187635.
Table 3. Percent of all homicides committed by an intimate,
by victim’s gender and age, 1993-99 |
| Age of victim |
Percent of
homicides commit-
ted by an
intimate |
Female
victims |
Male
victims |
| 12-15 |
10% |
1% |
| 16-19 |
22 |
1 |
| 20-24 |
32 |
2 |
| 25-34 |
36 |
4 |
| 35-49 |
38 |
6 |
| 50-64 |
30 |
8 |
| 65 or older |
21 |
5 |
| Source: FBI’s UCR data,
1993-99 |
Stalking
Most (78%) stalking victims are female and most (87 %) stalking
perpetrators are male. (Tjaden, P. and Thoennes, N., Stalking in America: Findings From the National Violence Against Women
Survey, 1998, NCJ 169592.
Women are significantly more likely than men (59% and 30%, respectively)
to be stalked by intimate partners. (Tjaden, P. and Thoennes, N., Stalking in America: Findings From the National Violence
Against Women Survey, 1998, NCJ 169592.
Eighty-one percent of the women who were stalked by a current
or former husband or cohabiting partner were also physically assaulted by the same partner, and 31% of the women who were
stalked by a current or former husband or cohabiting partner were also sexually assaulted by the same partner. (Tjaden, P.
and Thoennes, N., Stalking in America: Findings From the National Violence Against Women Survey, 1998, NCJ 169592.
Health and Human Services
Adult Domestic Violence and Child Abuse
In a national study of more than 6,000 American families, 50%
of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children. Murray A Strauss, Richard J. Gelles,
and Christine Smith. Physical Violence in American Families; Risk Factors and Adaptations to Violence in 8,145 Families (New
Brunswick: Transaction Publishers, 1990), 407-409.
Studies show that children are being physically abused in approximately
half the families where the mother is a known victim of domestic assault. Similarly, studies show that mothers are being battered
in approximately half the families where her child is a known victim of physical abuse. Jeffrey L. Edleson, PhD, The Overlap
Between Child Maltreatment and Woman Abuse (VAWnet, revised April 1999, Violence Against Women Online Resources), available
at http://www.vaw.umn.edu/Vawnet/overlap.htm, Internet accessed 24 December 2001.
Slightly more than half of female victims of intimate violence
live in households with children under the age of 12. US Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice
Statistics Factbook: Violence by Intimates, March 1998, v.
LGTB
- Depending on the survey, 17% - 46% of lesbians & gay men
report abuse by a current or former partner. Elliott, P., Shattering illusions: Same-sex domestic violence. In Violence in
Gay and Lesbian Domestic Partnerships, ed. C.M. Renzetti & C.H. Miley, pg 1-8, Binghamton, NY: Haworth Press: 1996.
Health
Female victims of intimate partner violence are more likely
than victims of strangers to experience injuries and to require medical treatment. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Female Victims
of Violent Crime, 1996, NCJ 162602.
In a 1992 study of 691 black, Hispanic, and white pregnant women
in public health clinics in Houston, TX, and Baltimore, MD, one in six women reported physical abuse. Participants were invited
into the study at the first prenatal visit and were followed up until delivery. McFarlane, Parker, Soeken, & Bullock,
"Assessing for abuse during pregnancy," Journal of the American Medical Association 267, no. 23 (1992): 3176-3178.
Mental Health
- In a study of one Florida domestic violence agency, 63% of
women in shelter suffered from major depression and 40% from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), while of those who were
receiving services but living in their own homes, 81% suffered from depression and 31% from PTSD. (Rates of major depression
and PTSD in a large random sample of US women were 7% and 1% respectively.) Walter J. Gleason, "Mental disorders in battered
women: An empirical study," Violence & Victims 8, no. 1 (1993): 53-68.
Services for Victims
In 2001, 5,396 battered women and 6,861 children received residential
services from New York State domestic violence programs and 25,625 women and 18,439 children received non-residential services.
A total of 24,470 women and children were denied emergency shelter, primarily due to lack of space. NYS Office of Children
and Family Services, Annual Report to the Governor and Legislature, 2001, 6-7.
In a 1996 study of 734 Massachusetts women who received Transitional
Aid to Families with Dependent Children between January and June of 1996, 64.9% reported that they had been a victim of domestic
violence at some point in their lives. 19.5% reported that they had been abused in the past year. McCormack Institute and
Center for Survey Research, In Harm's Way? Domestic Violence, AFDC Receipt, and Welfare Reform in Massachusetts (Massachusetts:
University of Massachusetts Boston. February 1997) 15-16.
Teen Dating Violence
- In a survey of over four thousand 9th through 12th-graders,
approximately 1 in 5 female students (20.2% in 1997 and 18.0% in 1999) reported being physically and/or sexually abused by
a dating partner. Silverman, Jay G.; Raj, Anita; Mucci, Lorelei A.; Hathaway, Jeanne E., "Dating Violence Against Adolescent
Girls and Associated Substance Use, Unhealthy Weight Control, Sexual Risk Behavior, Pregnancy, and Suicidality." Journal of
the American Medical Association 286, no.5, (2001): 572-579.
Updated: 2/14/03
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Hi all,
my name is kathleen, i'm your host here & i'm glad you're
here...
i lived in domestic violence my entire life. domestic violence
& i have gotten to know each other very well.
i believe that most of you probably have associated with a victim of domestic violence sometime in your
lifetime whether you are aware of it or not. if you are here because you are a victim of domestic violence in this present
moment - welcome & please,educate yourself - then make a plan to take action to remove
yourself from the relationship.
if you are here as a survivor of domestic violence & you're facing the recovery process from living
in an abusive lifestyle, welcome to you as well. you and i share a bond that ties us in the deepest depths of our hearts and
minds. don't you agree? it's hard to imagine being a victim of domestic violence if you never have experienced abuse.
and if you are visiting this site out of interest or concern for someone you care about that is experiencing
abuse or domestic violence, then please, get that person some information & take them to a domestic violence shelter for
help.
it's most important to remove your friend or loved one from the relationship as soon as possible - in a
safe manner - of course. unless properly supported and educated you can bet that the average woman living in domestic violence will
leave her home & abuser at least 7 times before leaving for good. it's frustrating to watch, but it's normal.
growing up knowing & seeing domestic violence in your family is very traumatic to deal with. it's like
being outside of your body, looking over yourself or the situation, watching the whole tragic situation. there is a name for
that feeling. it's called dissociation. i watched my uncle abuse his children on a regular basis as a child and teenager.
it was so confusing to me. how he could be so nice and so caring and sweet to me, and yet hit, kick, curse at, push, and emotionally
& verbally abuse his children at the same time - well - it just didn't make any sense.
the other thing that didn't make any sense was that all of my family knew it and watched it as well, yet
no one stopped him. now, that's confusing to a child.
the fact that he was so abusive to his children put a huge wall up between my cousins and myself as he never
spoke a harsh word to me - ever. how confusing that must have been to them as well. he was abusive in his marriage as well
towards my aunt. this he did in private, but we all knew that it happened. no one ever tried to stop him.
we were a very close family. i knew all of my aunts and uncles very well and stayed with them for weeks
at a time in the summer months off from school. my grandmother on my mother's side had told me that she too, was abused by
my grandfather, i believe physically, because she had gone to a friend of his at the country club to urge that friend to make
him stop. she threatened to tell everyone if he didn't stop it. as far as i know, that threat worked in stopping the physical
abuse, but my grandmother was humiliated many a time, in a subtle manner - verbally - by my grandfather.
i loved him so much. i stayed with them so often. it was embarrassing for me to hear the way he subtly demeaned
her with his short, curt and abusive remarks. he always suggested she was stupid, slow, or incompetent of things.... she lived
in a constant state of medication. she referred to her "little nerve pills" quite often, but no one ever said anything to
help her or anything to make my grandfather stop saying those things to her.
she was a submissive wife, doing everything he told her to do. they had married when she was 16 years old
and they ended up being married over 60 years before they both died recently.
in my own family, the air of abuse didn't begin until i was a pre-teen. i believe there was a crisis in
my parent's marriage when i was around twelve years old, but before that, my mother was never a very happy person. my father
was absent much of the time, being in the military, and he had a very military type manner about him when he was home.
once he left the military, he was just a wee bit more friendly, but there was the ever present threat of
corporal punishment and i can honestly say, i always feared him for some reason.
i spent a very short time being "daddy's little girl," as i was the oldest of three children. i can remember
brief moments, sitting in his lap with him being affectionate with me. i can also remember when he carried my younger brother
and sister on his shoulders at times when we had a family outing. the other times i can remember him being somewhat calm and
friendly were when we traveled in the car. he always led us in singing old songs from his childhood, religious songs and songs
from musicals.
we all went to church. everyone in all the families went to church, including my aunts, uncles, cousins
and most of my grandparents. my mother's mother had isolated herself since i was a very young girl. she almost never left
her home. she went shopping & to the club or out to eat, but for the most part, she stayed home to take care of my grandfather's
needs.
on my father's side of the family, they all seemed so normal. while my grandfather had lost his first wife
and remarried, he had another family prior to my father's clan. so, even as a very small child, my grandfather was already
retired from his job, was always bald as long as i can remember and was quiet and relaxed all of the time. he always had great
stories to tell, played cards with me all the time, encouraged me to read, watched concentration every morning and was very
much a man of habit. he did almost the same things every day and night.
my grandmother on that side was a sturdy woman. she was quiet and hardly ever wore fashionable clothes.
she was always working hard and carried a job far into her 60's. she was a maid and cook for a prominent doctor. she never
had a license to drive. she always took the bus and left the house in the dark, before everyone woke up in the morning. she
was always busy in the house doing chores and i never saw much emotion from her.
recently i learned that my grandmother had been raised in an alcoholic and abusive home. my mother believes
that she had a very difficult childhood. that was the reason there was hardly any drinking of alcohol in her home.
now it surprises me to no end that her two sons turned out to be so abusive. i still wonder what kind of
disciplinarian my father's father was when he was a boy. i just can't imagine.
the reason i take the time to tell you this story
of mine, is that no one can be sure that domestic violence won't enter their life. no one is immune. it happens to people
who have money, belong to country clubs, go to church faithfully and even to those that appear to have a very fine family
in the community.
you can unknowingly marry a man who will someday abuse you.
you could even be married to a man for many years and everything is fine, then
one day........... he beats you to a pulp.
no one can be 100% sure that they won't be touched by domestic violence in their
lifetime.
no one.
my mother had four sisters. i already referred to one of them being married to my father's brother, above,
the one that was so abusive to his children. he was a beer drinker to excess. we all knew him to always have a can of Genessee
beer in his hand while we were growing up. perhaps that was the cause of his abusive nature, i'm not sure, but alcohol was
a factor.
he wasn't abusive because of the alcohol though. that needs to be made clear. it may have contributed to
his loss of total control but he was abusive even years later after quitting drinking.
now my mother had another sister who was very quiet. she was very shy. she ended up marrying a very abusive
man as well. he was so controlling with her that she even had to "cut up the meat on his plate" for him at meals. it was all
about power and control with him. he was a celebrity as well, in the detroit area, and no one would have guessed that he was
abusive.
unfortunately, my aunts nature or tendency was very similar to my grandmother's and she experienced depression
and very severe anxiety as well as some other mental disorders. i'm not sure of which ones besides those i mentioned, but
because of her temperment, the abusive situation she was in was particularly destructive.
while she did divorce her husband, finally, she remained full of anxiety and experienced mental illness
even to this day. she remarried another controlling and abusive man. she remains unhappy in her life and although she is a
wonderful person, she isolates herself and lives in the depths of extreme depression most of the time. i feel for her. i really
do. she just doesn't know how to make herself leave him. she is afraid i think to live on her own.
once you have experienced domestic violence your world becomes one of "living in fear." Everything revolves
around fear. everything you do is motivated by fear. it's very disturbing.
after experiencing some trauma my own father turned openly abusive in our own family. it was terrifying.
we never knew what to say to him or how to act around him because we feared triggering his wrath.
my father is a very very intelligent man. i would say he is a genius. he is just presently retiring from
a very important position in a well known company. he has traveled the world with this company, doing business with the defense
department and other important people in our government.
one night when i was not home, he beat my mother so severly that she was unrecognizable. no one knows what
triggered it. my mother never spoke of the incident, but it did trigger their divorce. he had been subtly abusive in ways
that i'll never forget. he wouldn't allow outbursts of any emotions. if you were hurt, physically, you could have no reaction.
he couldn't stand crying so you better not cry around him.
he had a very archaic view of women, being the housewife and caretaker of children only. it's so strange
because for years my mother worked outside the home, supporting our family so my father could go to college.
he was faithful to church until his parents experienced a flood in the late 70's which devastated them and
forced them to move from their home. their church, episcopalian, couldn't help them and my dad was angry with the church from
then on and refused to go anymore. he was even more short tempered after experiencing that flood. he went to help with the
clean up and the relocation of his parents to a new home. he was really never the same after that. he was even worse than
ever in fact, drinking heavily almost every night.
he isolated himself from us all by sitting in his chair, with his bourban and a novel - reading a book almost
every night. no one dared speak to him.
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Domestic Violence - Are You a Victim? - by Jill Curtis
Violence in the home is a crime we are all becoming
more aware of each year. In the UK a quarter of all reported violent crimes are domestic. In the US the estimate of the number
ranges from 960,000 incidents of violence against a current or former partner to four million each year. But domestic violence
is also a world-wide problem.
What is violence - or abuse? It is about power, and this can be about controlling a
partner by either physical or emotional abuse. It is rarely a one-off event. There are also many different forms of abuse,
and physical attack is only one of them. Perhaps most of us think of a black eye or broken arm, but sex can be used as a way
of dominating a partner. So can ridicule. So can control of family finance. So, too, can shouting and screaming.
Does
your partner accuse you of all manner of ‘crimes? These may even be everyday events, such as looking out of the car
window to look at other men or talking for too long to friends and family on the telephone! Jealousy is a formidable spur
for many attacks.
Do you feel under threat of violence? Have you been on the receiving end of a violent attack? Do
you have to ‘account?for time spent away from home? Does emotional or verbal abuse play a part in your relationship?
Psychological abuse can at times be even more damaging than physical abuse. It can be something which whittles away
at your self-esteem until you may even begin to believe that you are ‘stupid? ‘useless?or that you ‘deserve
it? Attempts at retaliating may bring further violence: tears of frustration and helplessness are ridiculed and mocked. If
this is happening to you it may make it even more difficult to break away and do something about your situation. Loss of self-esteem,
and being made to believe you are ‘worthless?make it difficult to think about getting help. Does this sound familiar?
You may also be on the receiving end of blackmail, for that is what it is, if you partner threatens to kill himself - or herself
- if you leave. Or to harm the children.
Sometimes there is a warning that violence is imminent, and this may be triggered
by alcohol or drug abuse. Other times an attack can come out of the blue.
Violence against women is only part of the
problem. It is sometimes the woman who is violent towards her man. This is known as the hidden side of domestic violence.
For a man to be on the receiving end of abuse is often seen as a comic situation, and sadly this adds to the reluctance men
have to come forward and speak about it. But it happens all the same. The humiliation which accompanies this abuse makes it
just as hard for men to break free and seek help. Erin Pizzey who founded the first refuge for battered women and children
in London, England, now speaks of her concerns for men as well.
On the Internet there are several different support
groups for women on the receiving end of violence. And in the US, Australia and New Zealand I could find help for men, but
it was virtually impossible to find help for men in the UK. I wonder why this should be so?
One survey in the US discovered
that where women have been accused of violence towards men it was not as one might suppose from self-defence, but as a reaction
to men not paying attention or listening to them. I am not the judge, but these must have been very desperate women.
The
Department of Justice reports that every 37.8 seconds somewhere a man is battered in the US. Every 20.9 seconds a woman is
battered. Frightening figures. The Home Office in the UK reported in their survey into domestic violence that women are more
likely to be badly injured and to suffer repeated attacks than men. But domestic violence is a two-way street not be tolerated
whichever way it goes. No one should live their day-to-day life in fear of another.
The question often asked is why
do people stay in an abusive relationship? The most common reason is because of financial restraints or fear of losing the
children. It is easy from the outside to say ‘get out?but often there is hope that ‘things will get better?or
shame at saying to an outsider ‘I am being beaten? There is sometimes a mistaken belief that love will conquer all.
This usually covers up a reluctance to bring things to a head and face all the changes that a challenge might bring about.
If there are children in a relationship this brings with it added worries. All research shows that if children witness
their parents?marital discord and fighting, this will affect them deeply and their emotional well-being will be harmed. They
will be scared by what they see and hear. Don’t trick yourself into believing that they do not notice, or will not be
affected by it.
The sites I found most helpful on the Internet were where addresses or telephone numbers of refuges
were listed and where it was indicated that although in the main these were for women and children, they were also sympathetic
towards men who needed help. There is help ‘out there?so don’t be afraid of looking for it. There are people who
will listen, and help you to decide upon the best course. They will also provide some guidelines to assist you with your own
safety, and that of your children. Be on guard, too, even if you have left your abusive partner, since you need to keep alert.
If any or all of this rings a bell with you, or you know of someone who is being abused, don’t hesitate, get
help and protection now. Some men and women have delayed, and tragically they are no longer alive.
Jill Curtis 2001
Agency Finishes Study on Family
Abuse Levels As It Plans to Set Up Support Network to Deal with Problem
Preventing domestic violence
With the completion of its yearlong study, a nonprofit group is one step closer to formulating a “community-based
response” to domestic violence in Queens.
“The goal was to see what's happening
& to support people already involved in this kind of work & build on what they're
doing,” said Ramesh
Kumar, research & outreach coordinator for the Manhattan-based organization
called Connect.
Research, which began last August & ended July 28, was conducted in Jackson
Heights, Corona,
Elmhurst & East Elmhurst. The study tried to assess the level of family violence in communities & to provide information
for the drafting of prevention & intervention strategies.
Analysis of data should be finished in September.
The organization convened 6 focus groups, conducted 250 person-on-the-street surveys &
interviewed representatives from about 60 community-based organizations, such as health clinics, senior centers & religious
groups.
Questions were on a number of topics. Participants were asked for their opinions on the criminal justice system's handling
of family violence & on the amount of attention given to the problem by government.
Subjects were asked if they would intervene if they saw a man hitting his wife & whether or not public education
has been effective against child abuse. Data collection was the first phase.
Next, the organization plans to share its findings & help build a support network. The 3rd & final phase will be to ensure that this network is readily available & self-sustaining.
The initiative, called the Community Empowerment Program, began in 2000 & has focused, so far, on 3 boroughs. Research
also was done in Brooklyn & the Bronx. A May 2004 findings report stated that “knowledge
& awareness of domestic violence & child abuse may be relatively high,” in these 2 boroughs, but “specific & culturally appropriate resources ...
were sorely lacking.
” People,
it said, “don't generally know where women & families can turn for help.”
Immigrant families can be reluctant to seek help. Some “come from places where there's war & they don't trust government-related organizations,” Kumar said.
Domestic abuse is a “problem that is coming out more & more, but it's still
hidden,” said Reshma Shah, a counselor at the Queens Child
Guidance Center's Asian Clinic in Elmhurst.
“We have
a few cases who walk in & say, 'I'm having a problem,' but most are referred to us by child administrative services, substance
abuse centers & hospitals.”
The clinic, which provides mental health services, hosted a South Asian focus group. Connect
also relied on Hispanic, gay & youth focus groups.
“Teens need to be more aware of these issues,” said Jesse
Taylor, of the Latin American Integration Center in Woodside, which provided space
for the study & worked with Connect to publish a “Teen Relationship Violence” brochure. “Some young
people don't even know that they're in abusive
relationships,” he said.
Kumar, who lives in Astoria, noted recurrent concerns
when talking to subjects of the study. “What is clear is that people would appreciate more training & support around these
issues,” he said. “Many organizations said they want us to come in & do workshops for staff, community members
& clients.”
Others called for increased collaboration between service agencies. Social service agencies
first addressed family violence in the 1970's, according to the 2004 findings report. Since then, resources for combating
the problem have been increasingly allocated to courts & law enforcement.
The Community Empowerment Program is centered around what Kumar calls a “community-based
& preventative” approach. Founded in 1993, Connect was originally called the Family Violence Project of the Urban Justice Center.
The organization assists child welfare agencies in working with abused women & children, provides legal information to victims navigating the courts & runs a training
institute for professionals who deal with domestic
abuse cases.
“We want to engage every member of the
community: victims, bystanders & abusers,” Kumar said.
John E. Thomas
14 September 2004
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