For a life changing listen - click here - it's truly life changing and something we all need to listen to. It does take some time to listen to Randy Pausch's Last
Lecture, but you won't regret it.
You can help yourself by helping others. You might not think so; but it's true. Find something you can do to help some worthy causes. "Keeping in Touch" will show you some important causes that need you!
Why would someone spend
1000's of hours designing & keeping up these websites to offer free information to others?
I have to reply - "You're absolutely right! It
does take many, many hours each day to work on these sites. I'm a mother, a wife & an individual who has tons of
personal work to do as well as the usual family responsibilities!
How would I find the time?
Why do I do it? I use the opportunity to combine
my own recovery - personal growth journey with an important concept that I've made a commitment to:
"Helping yourself thru helping others..."
I was so excited when after years of searching for the answer to my everyday question, "What's
wrong with me?" that I felt determined to show others that if you don't quit & you know the path to take, you can find your answers as well!
My immediate concern was "mental health." While I didn't know what was wrong with me, I did have one medical specialist tell me that my physical pain was due to
a "mental problem."
I didn't quite understand it all, I was wallowing in many different symptoms of mental illness like panic attacks, severe anxiety & finally my eating disorder symptoms of waking up numerous times in the night to eat.
Just as you may have seen recently on either public service television commercials
for depression or in your doctor's office waiting room; mental illness can manifest itself in physical symptoms that include many sources
of discomfort. I was also experiencing the symptoms of "irritable bowel syndrome," that had started early on in my life.
So I started with the mental health site that now exists within the network:
I've reached a point in my own personal recovery & growth journey that I believe I can describe accurately most of the emotions & feelings within the emotional feelings network of sites without using any information from anyone
else.
But since the ruination of the "extremely emotional"
site - I had to stop & ask myself - remembering to be aware & mindful of what's happening in my present moment -
"Why did this happen to me?" (the unreasonable ruin of my site, of
course!)
or - Choosing to seek a positive return for a negative energy passing my way - what would the positive ramifications be of having to go through every single page of a network of 28+ sites to delete the links to my ruined site?
Geez... now that I think of it... I've asked myself that question quite a few times before... "Why did this happen to me?"
& I searched & searched for an answer, wasting time & positive energy on something very simple... Life is what's happening. Just look to find the positive about it instead of the negative!
This is what I am looking for now in all aspects of my life. I'm looking for the "positive" reasons things happen. I remember what I've learned from my past to be prepared to have to confront negativities with my re-gained "power & control" on my side now instead of the enemy; but I choose now to look upon the face of countenance instead of upheaval.
After pondering a few days on this subject, while going through every page
of the emotional feelings site - here - to unlink all the emotion & feelings words "s" thru the end of the alphabet - I realized something magnificent.
"This is my opportunity to take the time to check ALL linked words to be
sure they're being directed to the correct places. This is my opportunity to re-check spelling & grammar. This is my opportunity
to try to express in my own words - the most meaningful knowledge I've recently acquired!
I'll write what I've learned about the whole cake, almost 6 years of growth - not
just reveal a the first piece of the cake! - I still offer other author's works to explain situational inferences
to emotions & feelings!
I'll try to the best of my ability to explain the importance of every emotion & feeling. I'm honored you chose the emotional feelings network of sites to visit!
kathleen
I was a victim of domestic violence. I was also the victim of other types of abuse. Perhaps once we are indoctrinated into the "victim mindset," it may
be natural that we are more than likely to become further victimized whether we are aware of it or not.
As you search throughout this website for information concerning abuse,
please take your time reading the information completely. While it may be painful for you to read the words - take it slowly
- leave and then come back. Don't force yourself to become hyper - sensitive because you identify so well with the information
you're reading.
click this picture if you want to learn more
about fear and what it can do to your mind....
If you are experiencing abuse of any kind including living in a domestic
violent situation - please seek out help from a domestic violence shelter - police officer or sheriff's department. Church
administrators, family and friends may be well meaning and attempt to protect you, but it is important that you leave others
out of your dangerous situation and contact the authorities that can help you.
Call either this national hotline phone number 1-800-799-SAFE
(7233) 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) for domestic violence & abuse or call you police department for a local number.
Forensic Psychologists Call Drew Peterson's Reaction to His Missing Wife 'Atypical'
a-typ-i-cal
adjective
not representative of a group, class, or type; "a group that is atypical of the target audience";
"a class of atypical mosses"; "atypical behavior is not the accepted type of response that we expect from children" [ant:
typical]
deviating from normal expectations; somewhat odd, strange, or abnormal; "these days large families
are atypical"; "atypical clinical findings"; "atypical pneumonia"; "highly irregular behavior"
ABC News
By RUSSELL GOLDMAN Nov. 21, 2007
In interview after interview
with the media, Drew Peterson has done virtually everything but express the worry, sadness & anger one would expect in a person whose spouse vanished without a trace 3 weeks ago, psychologists told ABC News.
Since Stacy Peterson, 24,
went missing on Oct. 28, her husband Drew, a 53-year-old police sergeant has become the prime suspect in an investigation
& the center of a media storm.
In a recent interview with
ABC News, Peterson, of Bolingbrook, Ill., called the search for his fourth wife a "waste
of time" & in 2 interviews with NBC's Today Show & elsewhere Peterson has alleged his wife's PMS led her to run off
with another man.
"Why would I go search for
someone who I don't believe is there? Why would I go beat the weeds in the cold? It's a waste of time," he told ABC News.
Forensic psychologists &
psychiatrists consulted by ABC News said people respond to the trauma of a missing spouse in different ways, but called Peterson's reaction "atypical" &
his attitude "blase" & "surprisingly indifferent."
None of the experts
have personally evaluated Peterson.
"My knee-jerk reaction is
what you hear everyone say," said forensic psychologist N.G. Berrill. "If my wife went missing & I loved her, I'd be hysterical. I'm always cautious about attempting to asses someone's emotions, but I don't want to say common sense here is wrong… He comes across as extremely glib & relaxed."
When contacted by ABC News,
Peterson, who hasn't been accused of any crime, said he was "surprised by the media attention."
"I got caught in a media lull
& it snowballed. There are more important things than this, like a little girl missing in Chicago," he said.
When asked about his concerns for his 2 young children, ages 2 & 4, Peterson said, "sure their mom's missing & they're upset but there are more
important things to worry about."
Despite routinely speaking
to the media for weeks, Peterson referred other questions to his lawyer Joel Brodsky.
"People are calling him guilty already just because he's not acting the certain way they want," Brodsky said.
"He has made some wacky statements
& he has acted kind of wacky, but he's just acting like Drew. People would rather he put on an act & be dishonest… There are 6 billion people in the world & if faced with a horrible situation you'd probably get 6 billion different
reactions. People seem to feel there is a uniform way to act," he said.
People do react in different
ways to trauma, experts said, but generally those reactions are consistentlysad.
"When someone undergoes a
trauma or loss like a spouse who suddenly disappears, people's coping mechanisms tend to be magnified. People who get sad, get really sad, people who throw themselves into their work, really throw themselves into their work," said Dr. Joe Scroppo, director of
the forensic psychiatry program at North Shore University Hospital in Manhassett, New York.
"When people undergo a tragedy
or loss, usually there is some guilt about what has occurred even if they're not directly responsible… You'd expect someone to feel some of that when losing a spouse even if he had mixed feelings about her… Among police officers that sense is even more heightened," he said.
"His isn't a typical response…
Usually, there's a mix of negativefeelings, self blame…A sense of sadness or depression, these kinds of feelings, tend to be part of the mix… One would expect that kind of reaction in someone similar to Peterson… Even if he had an ambivalent relationship with his wife – which, he does by his own account – I think he would be concerned about the effect on his children. Even if he doesn't care about her, one would expect him to be concerned about his kids."
Experts speculated that if
Peterson is indeed guilty, his experience as a police officer could afford him the confidence to act so nonchalantly.
"If he is guilty of this crime, he must believe no one is ever going to find the body… If he truly knows why his wife went missing, he knows the body won't be found,"
said Berrill. "As a cop he's fully aware that a spouse is first person cops look at in an investigation."
Since Stacy went missing,
investigators have exhumed the body of Peterson's 3rd wife Kathleen Savio who died in a
mysterious bathtub drowning. A new autopsy revealed she may have been murdered.
"If in fact he is a cold-blooded
killer -- that is to say if he is a psychopath -- he managed to get away with murder once before," Berrill said. "The irony
of the whole tale is that police may never find the body of the present wife, but the remains of the 3rd wife might lead to
a murder conviction."
If you've seen the news recently
about the Mormon sect in Texas that has people talking about their rights all over the world.... think about it again if you
feel you're experiencing any type of spiritual abuse. I can lead to other types of abuse. Let's look at what's going on with the case!
After searching for the up-to-date
details on this case; I began to think how it would be if you looked into the shoes of this personal debate - religion
is a personal thing - and see how many different sides of the story fold out in your mind!
Many polygamists blend into modern society
Activist says tens of thousands live in such families from Canada to Mexico
This story belongs to the Associated Press
April. 17, 2008
SALT LAKE CITY - The neighbors knew Anne Wilde as a divorcee with three children, but she had a secret: She
was married to a polygamist, a man who divided his time among his various wives, visiting her once a week at her house in
the suburbs.
"We'd play games - he'd park his car at a grocery-store lot and I'd pick him up" so that other people wouldn't
see his vehicle parked in front of her home overnight, said Wilde, now a 72-year-old grandmother whose husband died five years
ago.
The neighbors had their suspicions, but they never questioned her.
While the raid on the West Texas sect earlier this month has focused attention on polygamists who live in communal
fashion and dress like 19th-century pioneers, many polygamists are very much part of the modern world, and live right next
door in cities, suburbs and small towns across the West.
At least 37,000 men, women and children live in polygamous families from Canada to Mexico, with most of them
in Utah, according to Wilde, who has become an activist for plural marriage. Law enforcement agencies do not dispute her figures.
While some men in rural Utah build large barracks-style houses with separate entrances to accommodate multiple
wives, many of the state's polygamists are unattached to any particular sect or clan and live almost invisibly, under rather
conventional-looking circumstances.
Polygamy in the family tree
Each
wife gets her own house; the men sneak around, often without a home to call their own. Mothers hold themselves out
as single parents to PTA or school officials if they have to explain. But that is not usually a problem in a state where many
lifelong residents can trace polygamy in the family tree, and where law enforcement authorities rarely prosecute the offense.
Carlene Cannon, a 37-year-old homemaker who lives in the Salt Lake City area, talks about polygamy without actually
uttering the word, referring to it as her "lifestyle choice."
"I'm in a very committed relationship, that's what I tell people," she said. If pressed, she will add that she is not legally married. "In
today's society, you don't really need to explain how it works, because there's so many single mothers," she said.
Sometimes the truth comes out. Garrett Kelsch grew up outside Park City in one of two nearby households kept by his polygamous father.
As a high school freshman, he tried to keep the family's secret from his new classmates. One thing or two gave him away.
Kelsch, now a 34-year-old manager of a door-manufacturing shop, said he had a half-brother of the same age in
the same class. "At first the others thought we were cousins," he said, "but they eventually asked about polygamy and we said,
'Yeah.'"
Kelsch said he never actively concealed his father's polygamy, but "we weren't going to advertise it."
True Mormon faith
Wilde
and just about all other practitioners of plural marriage in the West consider themselves followers of the true Mormon
faith. But the mainstream Mormon church renounced polygamy more than a century ago and strongly disavows any connection to
them.
Many of Utah's polygamists draw a sharp distinction between themselves and the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter Day Saints, the polygamous sect raided by Texas authorities earlier this month because of allegations of physical and sexual abuse. By Wilde's estimate, about 15,000 of Utah's polygamists belong to no group at all.
According to law enforcement authorities in Utah and Arizona, many other polygamists are divided among about
11 communities, societies or orders, though Wilde said some of those groups have faded away, have few members or lack religious
legitimacy.
Most Utah women in polygamous marriages are indistinguishable from other women. They take jobs or work from
home to help support their families. Wilde, for example, helped run a Mormon publishing house from her home. They don't wear
prairie dresses or put their hair in braids or a bun, the style consistent among FLDS women.
In black dress pants and a white blouse with a charcoal-colored jacket, Heidi Foster looks like any other 36-year-old
suburban Salt Lake City mom, albeit with 10 children in her home. The youngsters' father is an occasional visitor who acknowledges another woman as his only legal wife.
Foster belongs to the Kingston clan, a 1,500-member group based in the Salt Lake City area but scattered across
the Intermountain West. The group has legitimate and widespread business interests worth an estimated $150 million by some
published reports, including pawn shops, a trash collection company, dairies and coal mines.
Key to salvation
Polygamist
John Daniel Kingston - Foster is careful not to call him her husband - helps support her family.
Court papers from a custody battle involving two of their rebellious teenage daughters say Kingston has at least
a dozen other wives. When asked about it, Kingston has invoked his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination. He is
believed to have more than 100 children.
Even outside the FLDS, women in polygamous relationships tend to marry young - around 17, according to research
conducted at the University of Utah. The men usually wait 10 years after a first marriage to start accumulating more wives.
In the cities and suburbs, the polygamist husbands are usually nomads, said Irwin Altman, a psychology professor
at the University of Utah.
"Typically, the guy doesn't have his own place. His clothes are spread all over. For privacy, some said they
had to take a drive in their car," said Altman, co-author of the 1996 book "Polygamous Families in Contemporary Society."
Altman found that the men earnestly cling to early Mormon beliefs that polygamy is key to eternal salvation.
You can take this video any way you'd like to, but I'd hope that you would look
at it as a person who does care about abuse and wants to do something... to help others. I found this girl on youtube.com...
she does some good work, but won't return my e-mails to her.
Continue this look at the spiritual abuse that
seems to be running rampant within the Mormon sect that is being investigated in Texas by click here to go on to the Spiritual Abuse page!
Sometimes, abused women develop a hyper-vigilant state of mind that causes them to be jumpy, easily startled, very emotional and
unable to sleep. If in fact, they have taken steps to keep their abuser away from them; getting a protective order from the
court, they still fear his abuse and check the window often to see if he is coming after her. It's a close line between reality
and over-reaction - but it is the understandable intense fear that keeps her vigilant.
If you're experiencing abuse now...
You must take steps to protect yourself & your children if you have children! Call the
national domestic violence hotline! 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
reach me by email anytime! click here to send an email now!
what are all these underlined link words about? they're about being within "the emotional feelings network of sites!"
there are many sites contained within the emotional feelings network
of sites because thru my recovery from domestic violence & the mental health issues stemming from my exposure to
family violence... i found that there is so much to consider... more than most people even think about!
it's possible to recover from the devastating effects of what you've experienced. it's a systematic
recovery system that involves many factors & takes a consistent journey thru some difficult transitions in your life.
clicking on the underlined link words will take you to another site within the emotional feelings network of sites to give you more information concerning the word you've chosen to click
on. here's an overview of the other sites you'll travel to!
don't be overwhelmed with the enormity of the emotional feelings network of sites!
just use it fully, to your advantage!
beginning with the emotional feelings sites,
follow thru the descriptions below to get an idea of the resources available to your thru this very special, emotional feelings network of sites!
a special note for those experiencing abuse....
whether you are aware of it or not, experiencing abuse causes many emotions &
feelings to transpire within its victims. many of these emotions & feelings aren't properly recognized, identified, processed
& resolved. we - the victims of abuse - bury these emotions & feelings, deep down inside of ourselves - so that we
don't have to "feel" them or expose ourselves to our abuser. part of recovery from abuse is digging down within ourselves
to uncover those unresolved emotions & feelings. learning how to recognize, identify, process & resolve those feelings
is essential to your well being.... that's how these sites came about... i had so much to learn & i wanted to share that
with you!
kathleen
All emotions
& feelings are in alphabetical order. You'll travel through
the underlined link words throughout the emotional feelings network of sites.
This is the index of all the sites
you'll find within the network: the emotional feelings sites first!
Feeling Emotional, too: containing all feelings & emotions beginning
with the letters “e & f ”
Feeling Emotional, 4: containing all feelings & emotions beginning
with the letters "g thru i"
Feeling Emotional, 3: containing all feelings & emotions beginning with the letters
"j thru n"
Feeling Emotional: containing all feelings & emotions
beginning with the letters “o thru r”
feeling emotional, 5: containing all feelings & emotions beginning with the letter "s thru w"
your "Un"emotional Side: This site highlights all feelings &
emotions using the prefix "un" before them - i.e., unaware, unacceptable, uncontrollable,
unsuccessful....
the layer down under: this site offers more than feelings & emotions! the subjects contained in the layer down under are highlighted in the lefthand
column to give you the feel of some important topics you'll need to consider in feeling
& emotion work as well as general personal growth or recovery processes.
the self pages: containing the topics that are prefixed
with the word, "self" - such as self acceptance, self actualization,
self defeated, self help, self love, etc.
just a heads up! for those experiencing abuse
now in their lives or those who are recently freed from an abusive situation!
most people are aware of depression & post
traumatic stress disorder, but those who've experienced an abusive situation are often not aware that they're experiencing
a mental health disorder.
once you've been exposed to abuse, your entire body chemistry may change &
never return to normal.
read about this & much more that will enable you to recognize, identify,
treat & resolve any mental health issues you're experiencing due to your abusive experiences.
kathleen
mental health & lifestyle issues
anxieties 101: this site contains information concerning the following topics. you can click on any of the
underlined title words to travel over to that specific page if you see something that you are immediately interested in!
since depression is very often co-existing
with the above anxiety disorders as well as emotions & feelings, eating disorders, abuse & other forms of dysfunction,
there's plenty of information regarding depression & other mood, or affective disorders included.
how it all works: this page is offered because I found the information very important in understanding mental illness & recovery processes,
how your brain works, how your brain is linked to many subjects, etc. as well as a glossary of mental health terms...
the more you
learn about mental illness, the more you begin to realize about how prevalent it is within different
age groups. therefore, i've broken it down into different age levels on each of the following pages...
children & mental illness: topics concerning children & mental illness as well as info concerning the currently being developed site, children 101 - this site can be accessed while being developed! additional pages linked off of this page: parenting 101
teens & mental illness: different topics concerning teens & mental illness for parents to look over as well as info about the teenscene site!
young adults & mental illness: what concerns young adults directly in relationship with mental health & well being, i.e., college, eating disorders
& other issues
men & mental illness: what concerns men directly with mental health & lifestyle, parenting, job related issues
women & mental illness: what concerns women directly in relationship with mental health, parenting, career & other issues -separate page for
women about hormonal changes & connection with mental illness
seniors & mental illness:what concerns seniors directly in relationship with mental health, life transitions & other issues
lifestyle factors
have a huge link to our mental health. through my research i found that i needed education concerning my lifestyle habits
that had a great bearing on my well being, so i included lifestyle pages on this site as well.
lifestyle diet: it's surprising to learn the ramifications of a nutritious diet in relationship with your mental health
& well being!
lifestyle exercise: a direct connection to mental health! the importance of exercise in your life!
those who have grown up in domestic violence, those raped, abused by a sexual
predator, and just so many others in their own specific experiences.... have or are experiencing an eating disorder.
if you've experienced night eating syndrome, like i did, it began as a child...
as an adult, i didn't know it was a disorder. i tried to identify it, but there
wasn't much info about it. so after being diagnosed with post traumatic stress & depression, knowing the relief that provided,
i decided to design the site, "night eating," to allow those experiencing this very frustrating disorder to learn something
about it.
other eating & sleeping disorders are covered within the site as well!
kathleen
eating disorders
within the emotional feelings network of sites!
night eating: i experienced this eating/sleeping disorder for most of my life
& finally beat it. this website offers information concerning eating & sleeping disorder & pays particular attention
to night eating syndrome!
teens need information about
their life challenges as well... if you're the parent of a teen, check the site out & see if your teen might be able to use some of the resources
there!
teenscene: this site is for teens, similar to anxieties101! - & just a quick heads up to your parents
with teens! i began to monitor where the people who visit teenscene 101 were coming from & lo & behold !!! - there were lots of hits coming from other sites concerning teens, PORN SITES - and some of them very disgusting to say the least.
so i added
a new, "fake" home page onto teenscene to monitor how many hits i would get on the real homepage, after seeing how many people came to the new "fake" home
page. i put a short sweet little note on there that says, " this is teenscene 101. it's a site for teens who are searching for info concerning teen life. it's not a porn site! but if you were looking for
a porn site - click here - and i sent them to the addictions page at the layer down under that features my thoughts on porn addiction....
sexual predators
are everywhere... make sure your significant other isn't surfing the web for anything that says
"teen" on it & watch where your kids are surfing, because believe it or not, it's one of the newest teen pasttimes!
kathleen!
and as i just mentioned above...
abuse has no age boundaries... teens are exposed
to abuse just as any other age or gender group are. this site is full of facts & some of my opinions concerning things
like premarital sex, living with an alcoholic parent, abuse, drinking, drugs & much more. i am honest, sincere & welcoming
for the teens, hoping they can just learn something that will benefit them from the site!
The Layer Down Under at one time, was
included in the spare space on each site and consists of additional information that wasn't accessible thru our navigational
menu on the left hand side of each page. The Layer Down Under is a source of information concerning the tools that
you'll need to "dig in deep" while exploring your emotions & feelings.
I named it The Layer Down Under because as you'll soon discover, if you haven't already, that there
are layers & layers of unresolved emotions & feelings buried deep within each of us.
To get down beneath the very first layer of
them all, you need to learn some additional information that will help you understand how to resolve those old hurts,
raw open & sore emotions that have been underlying everything you have done in your life.
Discover one emotion & be sure that it's secondary to the original or another emotion that's above the original
emotion experienced during your traumas. That's the way it works.... Just peel back the layers down under to learn more &
more buried information.
Subjects covered in The
Layer Down Under....
Addictions - Drug & Alcohol Abuse, Gambling, Smoking, and more... Becoming addicted to something is a negative coping
mechanism that we use to keep us from feeling the pain we have inside us...
abuse tends to cause many negative coping mechanisms... addictions, above, at the layer down
under deals with the facts concerning all types of addictions & their relationship with abuse... & other factors.
abuse seems to walk - hand in hand - with abuse in one way or another... people are looking
for that "numbing effect" that will ease their minds...
We all have beliefs.
Most of our belief systems were formed when we were children living in a dysfunctional world... often times learned from our parents who were
dysfunctional themselves....
I myself have lived w/an eating
disorder for most of my life, "night eating syndrome." Professionals aren't quite sure what to do with this
disorder yet. Although it was discovered in the 1950's, professionals haven't studied much about it.... I believe that
my negative body image sold me on eating at night for comfort among other things.... Read more about what
people are facing these days w/their own body image issues....
Change isn't easy. We all get used to doing things a certain way &
although we may know it's not the "best" way for us that we do these things... it's so hard to accept that we have to change.
Acceptance is the first detail to work on when we're talking about changing ourselves....
This page is just about emotions, not one in particular, but about how we deal with our emotions, the importance of
emotions, what happens to our emotions if we don't feel them & end up stuffing them - also about kids & their emotions
as well as teens!
The same goes for this "feelings page." About feelings generally, why we experience feelings, what we do with them,
what we don't do with them that we should as well as other general information concerning feelings... it's an interesting
page!
While professionals & experts, well - you know - those educated
people, maybe like you, are out their in their worlds of business, finance, and other mainstays of our modern world, there
seems to be an elemnet of doubt concerning some of the subjects contained in The Layer Down Under...
Like... how important is it for us to look for insightful information
in our every day lives?... After being raised by well educated parents who didn't know anything about "insight" I can
rightfully say that most people are letting their educations get in the way of this important factor that they're missing
out on in their educated lives.... that's right, i said it.... don't be too educated to miss out on concentrating on
the insightful information you may be missing in your daily life, this page talks about that abit!
Another blessing
often passed by is the gift of inspiration. How open are you to allowing yourself to be touched by an inspiring message? How
hard do some of you work to look the other way, saying, "this is crap...." instead of pondering on what could be a very inspiring
message?
This is an interesting topic that I've wanted to cover from the beginning of my website ventures.... you could
say,
"I've had the intention
of covering this topic since the beginning of the emotional feelings network, perhaps because it hits so close to home (being a personal interest) that I've procrastinated a bit about it." Just what do your intentions
say about you as an individual? How come many of us fall short on fulfilling our good intentions? An interesting topic - are
you willing to ask yourself some important questions?
Do you hold any
stock whatsoever in what your intuition tells you?
Maybe you should check out this page to find out the importance of
being open & present enough to rely on your intuition for making important decisions.
After we discover that underneath our anger with life there's an open wound left behind from abandonment, abuse or
some other dysfunction in our past, how willing are you to sit and feel that unresolved emotion or feeling, so you can "let
go" of it & settle that account out of your life? Don't know how? This page lends some insight on that topic.
This is one of my personal vices.... I admit it. I'm not a good
listener at times, especially when it comes to my husband. I sure want him to listen to me though. The times do happen though,
when I can keep my mouth shut long enough to soak in just what he's trying to tell me, and believe me.... it's usually a very
insightful experience. It's amazing what we can learn about others as well as ourselves when we choose to keep our mouths
shut and empathetically listen to someone.
Another faux pas of the educated community, is ignoring the
fact that most of us are not living "in the present' moment to allow ourselves to be mindful. It's how we solve some of our
most difficult blockages, by being mindful of what is happening around us, by what we encounter along the journey of self
growth. Let yourself become mindful - it takes practice, but well worth the effort.
This
is a subject that I have had trouble finding information on believe it or not.... Opinions are everywhere, available to us
everyday whether we want to listen to them or not! I like opinions. I am curious as to why people believe the way they do!
I like to ask some questions after I hear peoples' opinions & try to understand just why they think the way they do. Hoping
to learn something from someone's elses belief system is an interesting opportunity. How curious are you about someone elses'
opinions? Can you say you even care how anyone else thinks?
Are you always thinking ahead or behind? Many of us are stuck in a rut of a very common avoidance behavior that involves
us being preoccupied with what we have experienced in the past, which hinders our growing in the present moment, or always
thinking ahead as to what we want to do in our future. taking the time to be "present" in your life allows you to use some
of the tools you'll find in The Layer Down Under, to be happier in your life & make some important changes.
That's right,
how clear is your mirrorof opportunity? Do you take the time
to reflect on anything? Does your behavior reflect a certain behavior you're stuck in? Do you even want to go there? Be real
with yourself, letting your authentic self be known. Take time to reflect on important subjects, be open, mindful & in
the present moment to reflect on just who you are as a person.
Risk Taking ...How Vulnerable will you allow yourself to be? Pretty good question, isn't it?
Life can be extremely hurtful to us at times.
I rely on the wisdom of a great book when I think about taking risks.... it's a book that I read when I was a teenager,
it seemed to be all the craze back then, but it's wisdom is eternal... the author, kahlil gibran in the book - The Prophet
- offers such gems as "how can you know joy if you haven't experienced sorrow?" that's what risk taking is about.... allowing
yourself to be open, maybe to sorrow, but what can you learn from that sorrow is my question to you.... what can you learn
from letting down your defensive outer shell & learning to take some risks?
Self Esteem....
if only my parents had known about this... this page has moved to the self pages site! you can still click on the link!
Another topic that puts us to the test... are you letting your education stand in the way of being open to spirituality?
What do you hold sacred in your belief system? I struggle with this one as well.... 12 steppers are all about their "Higher
Power,"
Christians are all about their "God"... Muslims, Jews, Buddhists are all about who they hold sacred in their beliefs
as well... what do you truly believe?.... do you think that spirituality is only about religion? Take some time to consider
your sense of spirituality in your life...
Now we know that
we can be stressed even in the womb. What about that? Geez o Pete! It's amazing what research can tell us these days about
stress... learn more about keeping stress out of your life here....
Not Dinnertime conversation for us baby boomers - that's for sure...
For us it was always the
line from our parents, "Because that's what I said!" or "Because that's the way it is!" Well for us as adults, we have
to examine how we think, especially us "boomers." What we believed is most likely, not so, and how we think, is
most likely slightly mixed up.... can you be real enough with yourself to really examine & maybe even change how you
think about things?
the three newest pages at the layer down under!
boundaries....: something we need to learn about for healthier relationships!
how miserable is your life because your expectations
never seem to come to fruition? perhaps we need to evaluate those expectations or get rid of them all together!
humor.... how many people do you wish had a better sense of humor?
how about yourself? did you forget that you were supposed to have one?
Concerning the Peterson Case
At first I was tentative
in making a public comment - that was the old me... married to a cop with a similar smug look on his face - like Peterson's
- almost appearing to say, "What did I do wrong?"
I have been following
this story and saw the interview on television. He is so similar to my ex husband, a cop, who was verbally, mentally,
physically and sexually abusive, controlling and so psychologically deranged himself that in retrospect I think he must
have lost track of reality.
He began telling people
that he was in a special agent services to carry out secret missions; when in reality he
was afraid of heights and couldn't drive over bridges he has such a phobia of them. Sure he ended up being a body guard, but
the classes he must have taken to fulfill that duty weren't the same as a "special forces agent."
He grew up in a cop
family with an alcoholic mother, who was totally dysfunctional. I believe he had no role model except for a controlling
father who was his mentor. He continues to be controlling even with our son who is almost 24.
The Peterson case frightens
me when I think about it because this could have been me who was murdered and missing. I can only thank the Lord that
I caught him in bed with my friend one day and he married her.
Together they
used parental alienation to get custody of my son, which was extremely painful...
I can only urge
those wives of cops living in controlling and abusive relationships to get out. Go to a domestic violence shelter and never go back
before you end up like this poor woman did.
I posted this at ABC.com... be sure to get out if you are in an abusive relationship!
kathleen
Spiritual
abuse is yet another type
of abuse I experienced in my lifetime. Unfortunately I must admit that because of my vulnerability to abuse I feel that I
more than once have allowed myself to be duped by religious zealots. Although the two experiences I've had are very different
- they are both very emotionally painful to me.
Some of my most peaceful moments
I felt were during these times of spiritual abuse. I felt a closeness with God that I contend was real. It was only the people
on this earth who were abusive and untruthful. For this reason I've had to stay away from organized religion although I feel
it is not always the best thing to do. I just can't trust another religion to be exactly what it professes to be.
Visit the Spiritual Abuse page here at abuse 101 and decide for yourself whether you thing that the Mormon sect in Texas is a solid case of
Spiritual Abuse or not! Read the story in the left hand column about polygamists as well to help you form your opinion!
Being a victim of Spiritual Abuse
brings along many emotions and feelings that are intensely felt as religion is such a close and personal topic. Many times
our religion is what defines us. We think we have our belief system concerning what we religiously believe, but when Spiritual
Abuse enters into the picture - it causes our "center" to fall out from within us and we fall - HARD.
I was married to a police officer and I didn't know that there
were domestic violence shelters. Besides being that naive, I have to tell you that it was my upbringing that made me unaware
that there was welfare in the world as well. I had no idea. When I was experiencing this abuse - mostly the financial abuse,
my mother said to me, "Kathleen, isn't there some government program out there that can help you?" I didn't know anything
about government programs. I didn't have to ever think about finances, money or how to support myself. The only attempt I
had made to take care of myself and two of my children, failed miserably.
I was married 8 years to a police officer who knew about
the domestic violence shelter and I found out that he knew about them when he suggested I go to one with my next abusive husband.
It was after our divorce when he was saving up the points to use against me in his custody fight that would later include
using parental alienation techniques that he told me - "Tell the cops you want to go to a shelter."
I went to the shelter. I didn't have any expectations about
the shelter because first of all - I didn't know they existed before that night and secondly - I wasn't that type of person.
Expectations weren't what I was all about. I just went with the flow. I just let people abuse me and I accepted it. I was
mentally ill and didn't know it. I didn't know much about anything although I was very intelligent. I was life skills poor,
and it was a huge disadvantage.
"i've just gotta say it!"
December 2008
by kathleen howe
Welcome to abuse 101! I'm really
glad to see you here! This is the first time that each of the different websites within the emotional feelings network of
sites will have their own column - depending on the main topic of the website in their own - i just gotta say it! monthly
column.
If you're looking for my monthly column at the emotional feelings website - it's on a new page - my personal story page instead of the homepage. All of the emotional
feelings sites that are concerned about emotions and feelings will send you to that page to read my monthly column instead
of it being on the homepage of every site.
Okay, here at abuse 101
I just want to say a few words to those of you who are dealing with issues concerning abuse.
I've lived through the
Christmas season while in the midst of an abusive relationship many times. The good news being that I lived through
it. The bad news, as I'm sure most of you know - emotions and feelings are heightened and disturbances are easily escalated
during holidays and birthdays and anniversaries. Unfortunately, the rest of the world is celebrating, happy and cheerful and
those of you dealing with abuse or memories of abuse are as far away from happy and cheerful that you can get.
I'm with you. There's something about an
abuser that hates the Christmas tree - the fact that you have to spend money on presents for others and that people want to
spend time with you. It seems the abuser doesn't feel "in control" and loses part of his or her power over the season. Figures doesn't it?
I've even spent holidays in the domestic violence shelter before.
While all the good doers of every community make sure that they donate toys and things for the single
parent - so that there are gifts to open at Christmas time - it's still one of the loneliest times when you are alone - separated
from your family and friends - and not in your own home for the holidays. It's very depressing.
I've lived through it several times and it never gets any better. I've been thrown out on the street, pregnant with no where to go by
my own family just following Christmas Day before. The holiday was over and it was time to let them get back to normal. It
was disturbing the kids too much to stay in their basement any longer. They couldn't control me so they wanted me to
go. I didn't believe in the same parenting principles they did - like allowing my thirteen year old daughter to watch a PG-13
movie so they threw me out. Incredible isn't it?
I'm thinking about you all out there. I'm
pondering upon the lonely people who want to cuddle, hug and sit with their loved ones by the fire on Christmas Eve,
but instead you are in a shelter, in your home alone with your horrible memories that you so want to replace with better
ones - I'm praying for you all.
I read two stories this past week
that I'm posting on the "If your abuser is your parent page" and I hope you take the time to read. This gentleman is in my thoughts as well, but he makes some excellent points concerning
being an adult survivor or abuse.
I'm just hoping that things will go smoothly for you all this holiday season!
You're always in my thoughts and prayers!
reach me by email anytime! click here to send an email now!
You Are Always Happy! By Alan Michael Ross
When you ask someone, ‘What
is the purpose of life?’, most people, after much umming & ahhing, say something like, ‘to be happy’.
This is what drives us.
If you observe yourself for a day you’ll see that in every situation we move away from situations where we don’t
feel good & towards that which we think will have us feel good. Right?
But what if the place we're looking for happiness is the wrong place?
Our main thought, even if we aren't aware of it, is that happiness is out there & over there. A misconception that things ‘out there’ MAKE us happy & so, GIVE us happiness.
If I can just get the world
to look the way I want, if this happens, if I have that, if I'm doing this… then I'll be happy… in the future. And if we get there, we’ll GET it.
So, we plan & do things
that'll hopefully result in us being happy with our lot in life. And this is our continual struggle & why life can sometimes be very tiring! Come on
happiness, where did you go?
I know you're around here
somewhere!
The thing is this, happiness is NOT a thing! A good job can’t GIVE it to us, our new clothes can’t GIVE it to us & our favourite
car can’t GIVE it to us.
How many times have you had
a car turn around to you & say, "There you go there’s a box of happiness, it’s for you!"
Several years ago I was sitting on a beach in Hawaii, where
I was living, watching the sun set on the Pacific Ocean & I was NOT happy! I was thinking, if I could just have this, be there, do that, THEN I'll be happy!
Then the shock of the contrast
hit me. Well this is paradise, if I’m not happy here, where?! So I thought back & remembered that a few months before I wasn’t happythinking, if I could just get that job in Hawaii, live there, go to the beach, paradise, THEN I’ll be happy!
And I went back & back.
Same pattern. What if it’s not that ‘out there’ that makes me happy? Maybe it’s what I'm bringing to the party! Maybe it’s not a THING I can GET from out there?
So what is it if it’s not a thing that we can get? It’s a state of being.
You aren't having happy, you’re not doing happy, you’re BEING happy. Starts to sound pretty elusive at this point, right?!
Yes & no. The good
news is that happiness is our natural state. Why? Because we're happy when we're being ourselves.
Happiness is like the sun behind the clouds. It's always there. It’s just that what we think & do has us being some thing other than happy, like anxious, stressed, worried, bored & doubtful.
You're always happy, you're just not aware of it because you're paying attention to something else!
So, how do we experience
our happiness? This state of being our true selves. Well here are some pointers.
If you notice yourself for one day you'll see that in the majority of
moments you want something else other than what's happening now – we're UNHAPPY WITH NOW!
We think that, if it was like this, if he didn’t do that, if I had this, then it would be better. When we
set goals or think about what we want in life it is always, I'll be happywhen I have this, do that, sort this situation out in the FUTURE. But tomorrow never comes. And the cycle
continues. You can only be happy now!
The very thought that happiness is ‘over there’ means that it’s ‘not here’ & that becomes your experience. Your mind
is like a Xerox machine, it simply copies your thoughts that generate your experience.
So, what to do? Know
that happiness is a NOW experience. You can only experience your being happy now. And if you keep waiting for it, it'll wait. Accept your circumstance now & be happy.
Focus on what you want
Many times what
stops us from being happy now is that we're being concerned, anxious, even fearful of the future – we're UNHAPPY WITH THE FUTURE!
This can be the next 15 minutes,
hour, day, or week. So what are we doing? Simple, we're focussing on what we don’t want to happen.
Thinking about all the things, that could happen, that you don’t want & not being happy about them!
Stop doing that
to yourself! It doesn’t feel good!
So it’s simple. When you catch yourself worrying about the future,
notice that you're thinking about what you don’t want & think AGAIN! Best not hold on too tight though. I suggest you…
Let go & flow!
In our desire to reduce ‘bad situations’ & increase ‘good situations’, we continuously monitor &
control with our minds. I have to do this, sort that out, make sure this happens & on & on. This creates stress.
We're still thinking that we can only be happy when xyz happens & worrying that if we don’t control it, it won't happen.
What to do? Realize that your being happy is nothing to do with what ‘happens’ & be happy NOW. Decide what you want then let it go. Trust in yourself & let the results flow.
A technique to make all this possible
This technique is so simple that it may be dismissed. But try it for yourself & you'll see. It’s simple, but it may not be easy… to begin with anyway, because it's the opposite of what
you're doing now, but like anything it gets easier with practice & becomes habitual. AND it'll change your life. Ready?
WATCH! That’s it. Watch, observe, listen... whatever you want to call it. Observe your thoughts, feelings & things that are happening. No need to judge, analyze or get involved.
Simply watch!
You may have thoughts come up about what you're doing as you're doing this but just watch them go by as well! It’s the passing parade. No
need to get involved. They're merely ‘suggestions’ for you to consider, or not.
What
happens? You begin to realize that everything is just a thought & you can choose to take it on & get involved, or not. You begin to connect to more of your experience, rather than being distracted.
So what do you discover?
There are no ‘bad situations’ or ‘good situations’! Only that which you think they are. The meaning you put on them. Like ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’.
Happiness Coach, Alan Michael Ross, is dedicated
to helping people improve their experience of life with THE HAPPINESS PROGRAM. Get his FREE 101-day Self-Awareness Coaching
Programme and more FREE resources by visiting www.HappinessZone.com.
i recently found the article below, which i feel explains the reason why i urge visitors to
email me. i believe this concept to be very true, it's helped me enormously in dealing with some of my unresolved emotions
& feelings concerning my own personal traumas.
i also believe it answers the question that so many people have,
"why is this negative experience happening to me?"
A chapter from "You Are the Grandest Love of All - God In Human Form" by UnityLove at Counselor of the Heart.com. Copyright 2004.
Each experience we have either shows us Who We Are ... or who we are not.
Experiences help us better define Who We Are & they show us the way to making grander choices. Experiences bring great insight along with a wealth of information about ourselves.
Our experiences become our guidance ... & remind us to return to Love in every way.
Let's address
our perceptions regarding the bad or negative situations that have happened in our lives. Many of us are ashamed of some of these experiences & beat ourselves up continually because of them.
We're going to shed a new light in how we can view these experiences in a different way. Below are explanations that
we may not have considered before & could be of great assistance in helping us "understand ourselves better".
Did we know that one way we find out Who We Really Are ... is by experiencing
who we are not?
All experiences gift us with information … they give us the ability to compare
what served us grandly & what didn't.
Are we aware … that our life up to this point in time, along
with all our experiences & difficulties ... have now become our credentials?
Have we realized
that the experiences we perceived as bad in our past, but have risen above & overcome the challenges in … prepared us to become a teacher to others who are going thru the very same things we did?
These experiences could be of rape, depression, alcoholism, drugs or almost anything. Are we noticing that certain people show up in our life, just because we went thru those
experiences & can truly help them now?
Have we stopped to think … that this could be all part of a Master Plan going
on behind the scenes of life?
It's past time we address the guilt & unworthiness we carry within ourselves ... for it's keeping us from
our grandest action ... Loving ourselves.
Loving ourselves is the key to our Divinity. Love opens us to the wonder we carry within us. It allows all our dreams to come true.
We're going to address the things that we've done in our past that seem
so uncomfortable for us to bear. These are things we've put ourselves down about, beat ourselves up for, made ourselves miserable over & make ourselves less by, each minute we think about them.
There was a Divine Reason for those
experiences … Love sees it ... do you?
It's much easier to define God in terms of what God isn't ... than it
is to define God in terms of what God is. Think about this dear one, there's great wisdom in this statement.
This defining process applies to us as well.
It
becomes easier for us to define ... Who We Truly Are & would like to be ... when we re-evaluate the experiences that showed
us who we aren't.
This gives us a much clearer picture of what we don't want to express next time. It's
at that moment of feeling unhappy ... that we become aware. We gain a much clearer picture of what not to choose again.
Many times the wiser answer comes easily thru this negative experience because it just happens to be the opposite of what we chose to begin with. These particular
experiences guide us in seeing how to change our choices for the better in the future. They show the way to a grander choice of what we'd really like to
express.
Without these experiences stored within us acting as a reminder ... we'd keep repeating
the same patterns over & over.
When we've had experiences in which we didn't seem to express our best
... it becomes important to realize "what" those experiences really did do for us. These experiences left a bad taste in our mouth &
perhaps made us feel bad for they didn't work out the way we desired.
Their job was to show us ... how to make grander choices for our future ... & our job was to notice what we were being shown.
Therefore, experiencing who we are not, isn't a bad thing ... but a door-opening event to help us understand who we really would like to be. The only reason we feel bad is because we haven't realized the grandeur in it all.
These experiences are actually Divine ... for contained within them is
a wonderful gift. The gift is "choice." When we make a grander choice than we did before, our new choice brings
about change.
Change becomes the chisel ... that rounds off the rough edges
of an unsculpted piece of art ... bringing it to its true & final beauty.
Dear one ... You
aren't only the piece of art being sculpted ... but you're the sculptor!
A negative or bad experience helps us define what we didn't like &
weren't happy with. It helps us "find" something much grander within ourselves that we might not have considered before. It
helps us realize there were different choices available to us … the choices that would have brought what we liked & what would have made us happy in that particular life situation.
These experiences happened for a reason. If we're wise, we'll make a record of what happened ... & use it to our advantage.
Once we realize
what we don't want ... we open to a whole different range of choices … that can help us feel & experience better next time.
For
how can we call forth God Expression in Human Form ... if we can't define what it is?
We encounter these
negativefeelings & experiences to notice there's a grander choice of Love, a better way of feeling & a more beautiful expression awaiting us.
In the case of guilt & unworthiness ... there's a grander choice of Love for ourselves awaiting us.
Each time we choose Love in any expression ... we step more fully into our Divinity. The Divine Plan works in many ways to bring us into
our grandness.
So understand, dear one ... even our negative experiences show us the way ... to God Expression in our human form.
As we carry these
past experiences & memories around within us, instead of feeling bad about them ... we need to thank them for what they've really done for us.
They're there to help remind
us not to repeat those situations again ... & they also show us the way to a better expression.
The
negativefeelings we get from these experiences assist us in making grander choices the next time around … so we'll feel better. Each time they rise within us, they remind us not to repeat that particular action, situation or experience in the same
manner we did before ... if we want to be happy, that is.
Negative reminders call out to us saying, "Hey don't forget we learned this before!"
When we take heed
... we are Re-born ... a new us arises. And it's all because of the awareness we now hold … due to our past actions & our negative experiences.
So it's time to stop beating yourself up & putting yourself down.
It's way past time to Love yourself & hold a higher consciousness & understanding for your own sake, dear one.
Become gentler to yourself. Allow yourself to have had those experiences
... for they hold much wisdom in what not to do again. You've gone thru something. You've learned something. You now see new &
grander choices.
All these type of things that you hold & walk around with aren't there to torment
you ... but they're there to remind you of ... "who you are not" & of the choices not to make again. Negative experiences are not your cross to carry ... they're your Angels holding the Light so you can see clearly in
a similar darkened situation.
It's all about finding the Love in a particular situation that challenges us. Love "was the reason" these experiences were presented to us to begin with.
In fact many of life's situations are presented exclusively to see if we can
find the Love. Finding Love for ourselves is one of our hardest challenges. When we find the Love & Love ourselves again ... that particular experience & lesson ends.
Do we know
why? Because we now know how to hold the Love being called for … even in the hardest of times. Do we not see it's all a Divine Plan to get us
to our grandest human expression yet? That is, of course, if we don't use those experiences against ourselves.
In any experience in our life all we need to do is find the Love in the experience … along with finding the Love for whomever is involved in it. We're dealt many hands in life ... some of them are pretty drastic &
really tough.
Our challenge is to always find the Love, in every situation & experience we're involved in. And most of all it's in finding the Love for ourselves … no matter what we've done.
When we find the Love ... we feel the Love ... we experience the Love ... & others experience the Love coming from us.
We're here on this planet ... to find, hold & express the Love We Truly Are, no matter what's going on in our life, or around us.
The way we become
aware & understand the Love That We Are ... is by going thru all those experiences of who we are not.
Negative experiences help us stand on guard ... so we don't repeat the same situation over & over. It's the negative experiences that project us right into Who We Are. It's Love coming as a helpful friend to remind us.
Find the silver lining in any bad experience & we go past the illusion of anything being bad … into the grand awareness & wisdom hidden as a gift in that particular experience. And it's in this way that negative experiences show us the way to what will serve us grandly in our next experience. This is the
way to happiness & feeling good as we go thru every situation in our lives. It's in the realization that the negative experience … wasn't really bad at all.
How ournegativeexperiences ... open
the doors for us to help others. When we go to
help another but we haven't had that particular experience ourselves ... the one looking for help listens to us in a certain way. But after we explain to this individual that we've gone thru the very same experience
as he or she has ... something unique happens in the way this person listens to us from then on.
The door to their heart opens in the most beautiful of ways ... because this person comes to realize we truly do understand ... their feelings, their hurt, their pain ... & their all of it.
To this individual, you become a
genuine teacher... because you also experienced this first hand & survived it.
You're able to truly guide this person in how to feel better & make grander choices in their life because of your experience
in common. Isn't it wonderful how it works?
We first come to know Who We Are … &
then we're given the gift of helping others see ... & step into Who They Are.
So the next time
you can't find one good thing about a certain experience in your life ask yourself ...
Have I stopped & realized the wisdom, knowledge, clarity, strength & understanding I truly gained from that experience?
Do I now see a clearer path to the choices that would have better served
me better & what qualities I need to call on … for who I want to be & express next time?
Do I see how this experience also held a gift in "sculpting me into a
teacher" with much wisdom to share … so I can truly be of service to those that come to me who are having a similar experience?
One special note …
Anegative or bad experience is all in the eye of the beholder. It all boils down to the perspective one holds &
how they see the situation.
It's
our perception that determines if the experience will be held as a positive or negative one. Anything we experience can be looked at in several ways … but know that anything held in a
negative way can be looked at positively. It all depends on if we use the mind alone … or if we bring our
heart into it as well.
Our challenge is to find the Love, goodness & silver lining ... in every experience no matter how tough it was or may be.
I'd
like to share an experience from my life that really shook me up. It is given to help you fully understand a perspective of Love & how things work behind the scenes for our greater good.
Throughout my life I
was presented with many experiences that were geared to get me to speak up for myself. Every time an experience showed up
in my life to get me to do this, I failed to stand up for myself & then more experiences were presented.
The reason the experiences kept coming was … I hadn't found enough
Love for myself to honor myself.
At age 15 my boyfriend raped me. Still very much a child, I wasn't ready
for a sexual encounter mentally or emotionally. I cried the whole time the rape was happening … but I didn't take any
other actions to make him stop.
I didn't speak up or stand up for myself nor did I protect myself or show resistance in any way. I thought the boy should have known better ... I thought he definitely could see me crying & would know this wasn't appropriate.
As crazy as it sounds, I stayed with him for years & any sexual contact we had was like experiencing the rape over & over again.
Every time it happened, I was given another chance to Love myself enough to say what I felt in my heart & walk out. This was all happening because of my refusal to
think enough of myself.
I could have put an end to what was happening at any time. All I had to
do was take a stand & hold my own ground. But my silent loveless pattern continued & so did the experiences.
After a traumatic event with this boy, two officers took an hour &
a half out of their day to explain the facts of life & Love to me … & because of them, I finally woke up.
I didn't realize this at the
time I was experiencing it, but looking back, I now fully understand why it all had happened. Many times in my life, I was presented with experiences to speak up for myself
… which I chose over & over not to do for various reasons.
Divine Love was asking me … How tough do things have to become before you stand up for yourself?
How many uncomfortable experiences must be sent … for you to awaken to Loving yourself?
How long will you wait before you finally honor yourself?
After many attempts of trying to get me to see & do this for myself
... the Divine Plan took me into one of my hardest lessons in life. It was presented out of Pure Love to help me awaken to one of the most important things in life … Loving myself.
The reason for the experience was to find enough Love for myself to say … "No". This is "not acceptable" & walk out no matter what anyone else thought or wanted. It was all about me finally finding the Love I needed for myself, the Love that I'd been missing the whole time.
Now as I look back ... I no longer see
this as a negative experience. I realize it was all to bring me back to the Love I should have been holding for myself all along. The boy was but a character in my life that came to
push me beyond my loveless boundaries. His role was to challenge me more than any other situation before … so I would finally come to honor myself & say "No".
The experience was all Divinely Created ... so I'd
finally say & do what I needed to for myself & find the Love I so desperatelyneeded as well.
When we come to understand that every experience we have... is but to find the Love or gift hidden in it ... it all gets pretty simple. Understanding brings great wisdom. Wisdom is Love. Love is Wisdom.
The more you understand that these experiences were but a way for you to see "how to shine next time" ... the more you'll begin to Love yourself again.
You've been gathering what you need ... for the grandest human walk you've ever taken ... your grandest human expression ever ... for you're being
sculpted to Express God in Human Form.
Would God not Love Itself, honor Itself & Its Temple in every way?
All is well
...it always was. Once you finally
take the time to Love yourself enough, you'll show Love beyond compare in any situation, no matter what's happening in your life. This is one of the ways life
works behind the scenes to help you become all you can be.
It has all been a plan for you to stand in All Your Glory & Shine like you never have before. It's time to see yourself in a new light thru
the eyes of Love.
Stop putting yourself down & hurting yourself. Rise to Who You Really Are & realize the "gift" you truly received from all those experiences.
You've waited so long to be Loved & approved of, dear one … allow yourself the pleasures & rewards of Loving & "honoring yourself".
Remember, You Are that Piece of Art being Sculpted ... Sculpt Yourself Divine!
From: "You Are the Grandest Love of All - God In Human Form" by UnityLove, Copyright 2004 click here for website
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for your convenience in visiting the source sites for the information written by others on this page:
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web links that support the source sites for the information displayed throughout the site, click here
i am a survivor of domestic violence,
verbal abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse & have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder.
it's been three years since my diagnosis & i still am in counseling & on medication.
through my own recovery, i have established
a network of websites that are all available to you thru this site to help you recognize & deal with your recovery from
abuse, mental illness, a dysfunctional family life & promote personal growth as well as a healthy sense of self esteem.
please have a great day & take a few minutes
to explore some of the other sites in the emotional feelings network of sites! explore the unresolved emotions & feelings that may be the cause of some of your pain & hurt... be
curious & open to new possibilities! thanks again for visiting at anxieties 102!
